Is This Anything?

Nigel (0:00)

The Hammer and Nigel Presents is the song.

SPEAKER_2 (0:06)

It depends upon what the meaning of the word is.

Nigel (0:11)

Is this anything?

SPEAKER_2 (0:13)

All right, let's rock and roll.

SPEAKER_3 (0:14)

Rock and roll.

Nigel (0:15)

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Hammer (0:34)

Holidays are approaching. If you could use a little extra scratch in the wallet, see if you got any sitting out there. Indianaunclaimed.gov.

The lovely, the beautiful first lady of the Hammer and Nigel Show, Miss Allison, can I please have some mood music?

Nigel (1:02)

What's the occasion?

Hammer (1:04)

Because we're talking about a bandit here, Nigel.

Nigel (1:06)

A bandit.

Hammer (1:08)

This was the theme from Smokey and the Bandit, East Bounding Down by Jerry Reed, also known as the Snowman. But this is about the crossword bandit, a man in Florida, Florida man, became known as the crossword bandit, has finally been caught.

Nigel (1:28)

Thank God.

Hammer (1:29)

What he would do is order beers at a bar or a restaurant and leave without paying for them.

His trademark, his calling card, if you will, was that he'd leave behind a crossword. So they assumed that like he was coming back to grab his crossword book or something. Here are the local bartenders and some victims. Gatop said he's heading to the restroom and never saw him again.

Nigel (1:55)

But there is his crossword puzzle book that he always leaves at the bar.

SPEAKER_2 (1:58)

He looked over and he goes, Oh my God, that's the guy.

SPEAKER_3 (2:00)

And he's sitting right over here. And I was like, Oh my God, it is him.

SPEAKER_2 (2:06)

Like, that's so crazy.

SPEAKER_3 (2:07)

Left half the beer. So I kept thinking, well, he's coming back. That's why I didn't look for him for a good amount of time. Because I was like, oh, he's in the bathroom where he's outside.

Nigel (2:16)

I was like, oh, good part of the scam. He must be taking a poop. He's gone for so long. He left his crossword puzzle here.

Hammer (2:25)

Criminals wouldn't leave behind a crossword.

Nigel (2:29)

Yes, this is something I'm glad they caught the infamous crossword bandit. And like, I mean, the first thing that should tip you off is like, who does crossword puzzles anymore?

Hammer (2:45)

Allison, when was the last time you sat down and did a good old fashioned crossword puzzle?

Nigel (2:48)

There's no way she hit.

SPEAKER_2 (2:50)

No, I don't like crosswords. They make me feel stupid.

Nigel (2:53)

Yeah.

Hammer (2:54)

This, to me, feels like the wet bandits from Home Alone.

Nigel (3:00)

100%.

Hammer (3:01)

Like, because you have a stupid calling card, now we can connect you with every single crime that you've done in the past.

Nigel (3:08)

So this guy owes, like, what, like, 1850 in beers?

Hammer (3:13)

And he probably spent, like, a dollar or two on the crossword book.

Nigel (3:16)

I was going to say, it was factoring in how much he spends in the crossword puzzle books.

SPEAKER_2 (3:21)

And he didn't finish the beer.

Nigel (3:22)

And he didn't. Yeah, he left a half of a beer.

SPEAKER_2 (3:25)

That's so weird.

Hammer (3:28)

I feel like he wanted to be caught. He wanted to be known as the crossword bandit.

Nigel (3:33)

What do you?

That's a good point. What do you do, though, if you're sitting in a bar with buddies or even by yourself, which I've been known to do? You do have to get up and go to the bathroom, but you still have a beer there in front of you. I put a coaster on top of it.

Hammer (3:50)

Yes. Some sort of signal that you're still there. Right. Yeah.

Nigel (3:55)

Or I leave my phone at the bar.

Hammer (3:59)

Oh, that's a bold move.

Nigel (4:01)

Nobody's going to. I mean, who's going to steal a phone? Nobody could break into your phone.

Hammer (4:06)

You live in Zionsville, don't you? I live in Indianapolis.

You leave your phone on the bar, kid. It's gone. I'm telling you. You're lucky your car still has tires outside when you get back to it.

Nigel (4:17)

I guess my feeling is that like if they don't know the code, if the thief doesn't know the code to your phone, then it's useless. So what?

SPEAKER_2 (4:30)

You seriously don't think people can hack into your phone with your four digit code or whatever?