Is This Anything?

Hammer (0:00)

The Hammer and Nigel present is the song of the thing, of the thing.

Nigel (0:06)

It depends upon what the meaning of the word is. Is this anything?

Hammer (0:13)

All right, let's rock and roll. And brought to you by Indiana Unclaimed, a program presented by the Attorney General's Office, reuniting Hoosiers with over $1 million in unclaimed property every single week.

SPEAKER_3 (0:25)

Every single week?

Hammer (0:28)

Excuse me.

SPEAKER_3 (0:29)

Good Lord.

Hammer (0:30)

Goodness. That's I thought the doxycycline was going to work. Apparently not fast, easy and free to search at indianunclaimed.gov.

SPEAKER_3 (0:41)

Somebody wiped that workstation down.

Hammer (0:44)

Geez, I do it every day.

SPEAKER_3 (0:47)

Is this anything? A woman on TikTok is warning parents about a pumpkin decoration called Jabberin Jack that apparently sings a raunchy song.

Hammer (0:59)

Oh, this is creepy.

SPEAKER_3 (1:00)

Here's the recording.

Nigel (1:02)

Who wants to be wicked for one night?

How would you like to scream all night? I'll fill you full of fright. Guide you in the darkest deeds, and spoil you with my roasted pumpkin seeds.

SPEAKER_3 (1:46)

Good Lord!

Hammer (1:48)

This is something for sure.

SPEAKER_3 (1:49)

He's talking about his seeds.

Hammer (1:50)

The company said it was meant to be humorous, they're going to cut it from future versions. Oh, come on. But that was pretty.

Jabbering Jack.

SPEAKER_3 (2:02)

Right.

Hammer (2:02)

It's one of those things where I think it's like, you know, where you hung the fish on the wall and it started singing.

SPEAKER_3 (2:10)

The Billy Bass.

Hammer (2:11)

Yeah. Would not have come up with that.

SPEAKER_3 (2:14)

Take me to the river.

Hammer (2:16)

I think this is something similar, but this is I mean, listen, can you play it again? Just the beginning. Lots of innuendos, lots of just. But who's really offended by this double entendres? I don't know. You're right. I don't think kids would get it, but who wants to be wicked for one night?

Or better, if I will be wicked for one night. I think it's something. Yeah, I wouldn't want that in my house.

SPEAKER_3 (2:56)

I would want this at my house. And if anybody's got a problem with it, they're probably the same ones that are demanding Arch Manning apologize for laughing at something that isn't real. They're probably the same people that have a problem with Sydney Sweeney being hot during an advertisement of a company that she's the owner of. Like these people, they're always offended. You're never going to make them happy. Put the pumpkin out there. You know what? I might even like change it up. I might put straight out of Compton in there and let the thing sing that. Let the little bastard of the trick or treat hear some easy E.

Is this anything? An Amazon delivery driver in Missouri was almost killed when someone on the other side of the neighborhood shot a crossbow and it went through the truck's front windshield, a freaking crossbow coming across.

Here's Carl.

Carl (3:49)

If that would have hit me, that would have went straight through my body and it almost did. Oh my gosh, that just almost hit me like within probably inches. That's one heck of an accident though. You see how far it had to go through all those trees past all these houses. If I was in the front seat, that would have definitely impelled me.

Hammer (4:06)

And officers, police say was an accident. There are no charges have been filed.

I don't know how that happens. That can't be an accident. That's got to be how random does it have to be if you're experimenting with your crossbow or if you're out back in your backyard? No way. No way. I couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_3 (4:32)

So you're under the impression that anybody that touches a crossbow knows exactly what they're supposed to do with it, because I got to be honest with you, if I'm sitting outside on my front porch and someone's like, Hey, you want to touch this crossbow?

Yes, I want to touch the crossbow. I have no idea what I'm doing with it.

Nigel (4:51)

It's not one of those things.

Hammer (4:53)

Like some of those crossbows you pull back with your with your right hand and you let it go. And then some of it like some of those crossbows, it looks kind of like a makeshift gun, right? Where you just pull it back and you pull a trigger.

SPEAKER_3 (5:09)

Yeah, I don't know. See, I don't know what I'm doing with it. I can go either full Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games or I can go Dirty Harry.