Is This Anything?

**Hammer** (0:00)
Whatever Nigel presents is the song.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:06)
It depends upon what the meaning of the word is.

**SPEAKER_4** (0:09)
Yeah.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:11)
Is this anything?

**SPEAKER_5** (0:13)
All right, let's rock and roll.

**Hammer** (0:14)
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**Nigel** (0:31)
Is this anything? Two school principals in Florida were arrested for DUI just hours apart in the same vehicle.

**Hammer** (0:40)
Oh, my God.

**Nigel** (0:41)
The second one was going to bail out the first one. Here are the arrests of Jennifer and Christina.

**Hammer** (0:49)
Ms. Jennifer, you consumed any alcohol today?

**SPEAKER_4** (0:52)
Because I can smell it.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:54)
Yes, I have. We are both high in total poor, you know, education and our workforce. So it's hard. And we're both married to police officers.
Why are you driving? I'm not meaning to do anything wrong. I'm way better. I just talked to you.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:11)
You were really drunk when I talked to you.

**SPEAKER_5** (1:13)
I know.

**Hammer** (1:14)
A couple hours later.
Yeah, that's something. What is going on in Central Florida? This happened a few miles west of Walt Disney World. Two different principals.

**Nigel** (1:27)
Same car.

**Hammer** (1:27)
Arrested for DUI hours apart in the same vehicle. The second one was going to bail out the first.

**Nigel** (1:34)
Two chicks, one car.

**Hammer** (1:36)
I mean, what can you do but laugh? What a couple of dumbasses. That guy that didn't kill anybody.
And two princes.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:43)
I'm high up on the totem poles. Both of our husbands are police officers.

**Nigel** (1:53)
That's a pretty good Biden impression you just did right there.
We should play a new game for like the Garth Brooks tickets tomorrow. Garth Brooks or Florida principals.

**Hammer** (2:05)
I mean, just ruin your careers. Holy God almighty.
It's not like it'd be bad enough if they were administrators or teachers or even janitors. It doesn't matter.

**SPEAKER_4** (2:15)
But the fact that they are high up on the totem pole.

**Nigel** (2:20)
That's Joe Biden, Joe Biden or Florida principals. And man, they weren't just a little bit over the legal limit.

**Hammer** (2:28)
They were sloppy. I know sloppy sounds. I know what sloppy is when I hear it.

**Nigel** (2:33)
Is this anything? An elderly woman in Florida randomly received a new license plate. SQZ-A55.
Now, when you look at SQZ-A55, it kind of looks like squeeze ass.

**Hammer** (2:54)
It doesn't kind of look like it is.

**Nigel** (2:57)
This elderly woman, who I believe lives in a retirement community, received this license plate. Her friends were trying to get Nancy to keep it.

**SPEAKER_3** (3:08)
I looked at it, and I said, I don't think so. I don't think a woman that lives in a senior community that's going to be 77 years old next month will be driving around with what this plate has to say. I'm kind of resigning to it. I figured maybe it was just destined to be on my car. I can handle it if I get a few honks here and there. Actually, being over 70, I might like a few honks.

**Nigel** (3:33)
Oh, OK.

**Hammer** (3:34)
So the question becomes, would you rather have that license plate on the back of your car squeeze ass or Kramer's license plate?

**SPEAKER_5** (3:43)
No, these don't belong to me.

**Nigel** (3:45)
I'm not the ass man. I think there's been a mistake.

**SPEAKER_5** (3:48)
What's your name again? Cosmo Kramer.

**SPEAKER_3** (3:51)
Cosmo Kramer.

**Nigel** (3:52)
You are the ass man.

**SPEAKER_5** (3:55)
No, I'm not the ass man.

**Nigel** (3:58)
Oh, I want ass man.

**Hammer** (4:00)
I do, too.

**Nigel** (4:00)
Hey, ass man, you got that right.

**Hammer** (4:03)
But SQZ A55 for an elderly woman in Florida is pretty good, too.

**Nigel** (4:09)
And she seems like she was a pretty good sport about it, like might not be her favorite thing, but the way she was talking at the end, we might have a ball game here in that retirement community. Nigel, it's The Hammer and Nigel Show.