Is This Anything?

**Hammer** (0:04)
Alright, let's rock and roll.

**Nigel** (0:05)
Is this anything? Brought to you by Indiana Unclaimed, presented by the Attorney General's Office here in Indiana, reuniting Hoosiers with over one million dollars in unclaimed property every single week. Fast, easy, and free to search at indianunclaimed.gov.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:22)
So we've got a port-a-potty story, and it doesn't involve Graham Platner.

**Nigel** (0:27)
Oh, that's a shame.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:29)
Vandals are being accused of blowing up at least 13 port-a-potties in Montana.

**Nigel** (0:35)
Oh, jeez.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:36)
Here's the owner, Connor.

**Connor** (0:38)
It's really sad because I think that they really aren't thinking about destroying somebody's property. It is 100% done to be destructive. It's a helpless feeling. They might not be hurting people, but in the long run, they are.

**Nigel** (0:51)
Yeah, and detectives don't have a lot of suspects. In fact, they're calling it a real crapshoot. You know, it turns out, blowing up the bathroom wasn't just an expression.
This is something. Crapshoot.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:15)
I heard you.

**Nigel** (1:15)
Crapshoot. Okay. Detectives are calling it a real crapshoot.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:20)
I don't want to do this anymore. Allison, will you do the next one? I'm done.

**Allison** (1:25)
I feel like I left after we did the helicopter, so...

**Nigel** (1:30)
I could do the helicopter move again, if you'd like.

**Allison** (1:33)
Oh, no.

**Nigel** (1:34)
Are you going to clip that, by the way, for the YouTube followers?

**Allison** (1:37)
I think that whole segment will just be my montage for the Friday.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:40)
Oh, she clipped it all right. It's her screensaver, actually. That's what Allison logs in. That's the first thing she sees is Nigel's helicopter from earlier today.

**Allison** (1:49)
Strike three.

**Nigel** (1:50)
I've got the helicopter and the flapjacks, just so you know. There's two different things on the YouTube.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:56)
And I'd like to point out, like, the one thing Nigel forgot was, you could also use your hand to execute the helicopter. Like, it gives you better pinpoint control, but you can whip it faster.

**Nigel** (2:08)
No, no, you can't because it depends on how big or small you are. And I'm very small, very small.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:19)
Allison, please do this next story.

**Nigel** (2:22)
Allison, read it. Go ahead. You're up.

**Allison** (2:24)
There's a line in Guns and Roses. Welcome to the jungle. We may have all been singing wrong.

**Nigel** (2:32)
Oh, no.

**Allison** (2:34)
Here's the real part. Then at 12 seconds, isolated vocals, you can pause and we'll hear it.

**Nigel** (2:40)
Okay. Let me hear.
Slow down, right?

**SPEAKER_3** (2:55)
So down. I thought it was so down.

**Nigel** (2:59)
Is there more?

**Allison** (3:00)
Should we?

**Nigel** (3:01)
Yeah.
With suck down? Oh, I've been singing it wrong this whole time! I've been saying slow down.

**SPEAKER_3** (3:22)
I thought it was so down, which makes sense. Like, suck down doesn't make sense.

**Allison** (3:26)
I don't like suck down at all.

**SPEAKER_3** (3:29)
Now, if that's not on the Friday montage, I'll be very upset. It's time we got some Alison clips on that Friday montage. That should be the closer this Friday. Play the beginning of that Guns N Roses thing one more time, because I thought it was so down. You thought it was slow down, but I guess it's suck down?
I don't buy it.

**Allison** (3:51)
You want to hear it with the music?

**SPEAKER_3** (3:52)
Yeah, yeah.

**Nigel** (4:05)
Oh, now, I heard so. But now that I hear it, now that I know that it's sucked down, I am hearing sucked down.

**Allison** (4:12)
I don't hear sucked down.

**SPEAKER_3** (4:13)
I don't either. And I think they doctored that audio because somebody's screwing with us. Like the isolated vocals, I think somebody's like punking us. It doesn't make sense. It should just be so down because, you know, you're talking about the levels of being down.

**Allison** (4:28)
I think a pervert is trying to ruin this song.

**SPEAKER_3** (4:30)
Pervert! Another music news, Huey Lewis, 80s icon, Huey Lewis in the News, explained on a recent podcast why music is no longer a part of his life.

**Nigel** (4:43)
Sorry, fellas, you're too darn loud.

**SPEAKER_3** (4:46)
Yeah, I mean, he's...

**Nigel** (4:47)
That's sad...

**SPEAKER_3** (4:47)
.losing his hearing, which began to happen several years ago.

**Hammer** (4:51)
I can't hear music. Music is not part of my life anymore. I can't find pitch in the music. See, the technology that I use on my cochlear implant, it breaks everything down into digital bits. Speech is easier to listen to than music. The cochlear, which is my only reliable form of hearing, distorts the music a little bit. In the same way it distorts people's voices. It makes pitch impossible to hear. I can hear conversation. If I pull these things out, I'm deaf.