How to Work with an Insecure Boss: The Harvard Business Review Guide

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Of the many flavors of bad bosses out there, one of the most common and most painful to work for is the insecure manager. Insecure bosses can be nitpicky micromanagers or paranoid meddlers who make you question your every move. And if they see you as a threat, they may even try to damage your career. If you've ever doubted yourself because your boss doesn't have faith in you or shoots down your ideas without any explanation or blames you for their lack of success, this video is for you.
So how do you know if you're dealing with an insecure manager? Here are some common traits. They're overly concerned about what others think of them. They can't make a decision or stick with one. They're always highlighting their own expertise or credentials, sometimes putting down others to make themselves feel better. They require that every decision in detail have their approval. They don't allow their team to interact with people from other departments or senior leaders in an attempt to control the flow of information. If you're working with someone who fits that description, what can you do? It is so tempting to retaliate or to push back or confront them or even report them to their boss, but you shouldn't do that. It is likely to backfire big time.
Once they sense that you have disdain for them or that you can't be trusted, they're likely to amp up their defensiveness, making your life more miserable. Instead, you want to start by understanding what might be causing their self-doubt. Let me just say, for the record, a certain amount of self-doubt is completely normal. At times, we all wonder if we can say, nail that presentation, or if our coworkers think we're smart. Insecurity crosses over into problematic behavior, however, when people try to conceal or compensate for their self-doubt. They end up resorting to the tactics I just outlined. This might surprise you, but research shows that people in positions of power are more prone to feelings of insecurity. Think about it. All eyes are on them. They're under a lot of pressure. They may fear being outed as incompetent or even losing their position of power. Knowing that can help you reframe how you see their behavior. For example, you may instinctively think, my boss wants to destroy my career, or my manager wants everyone else to look bad. But go deeper. Do they really want to destroy your career? That's unlikely. More likely, they're nervous about losing their jobs, say, in an upcoming round of layoffs. Or they think that by criticizing you, sometimes harshly, they're going to motivate you to perform better, which will ultimately make them look better.
Okay, now that you have a better sense of their motives, let's improve the situation. Here are some tactics.
Tactic one, remain patient. Far too many bosses are overwhelmed, overextended, under qualified and or under trained. It's quite possible that dealing with legitimate pressures like hitting year end targets or dealing with tough clients is causing them to take their insecurities out on you. So exercise empathy.

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