How to Start a New Chapter When You Think It’s Too Late | Sari Botton

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

You can change the script.

Sari Botton (0:01)

You're not necessarily stuck in the life you started as a young adult for the rest of your life. And that's really hopeful to me.

Eric Zimmer (0:18)

Welcome to The One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true. And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do.

We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living.

This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.

Eric Zimmer (1:03)

Sari Botton had a writing mentor who made her students do one thing before pitching an essay anywhere. Take an index card and write the word no on it 19 times. The 20th word is yes. At every rejection, you cross off a no.

The obvious point is, we get a lot of nos in life. Sari is 60 At 54, she could barely get a first interview for a job she was qualified for and thought her career was over. Today she runs Oldster, a magazine about getting older at every age, and she says she's in the best stretch of her working life. We also talk about the age you feel inside versus the number on your license, what to accept about getting older and what to push back on, and the harsh voice she still uses to get herself to work.

I'm Eric Zimmer, and this is The One You Feed.

SPEAKER_1 (2:00)

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Eric Zimmer (3:00)

Hi, Sari. Welcome to the show.

Sari Botton (3:02)

Thanks for having me.

Eric Zimmer (3:03)

I'm excited to have you on. You run a really fascinating substat called Oldster, and we'll be getting into all of that in a moment, but we'll start like we always do with the parable. And in the parable, there's a grandparent who's talking to their grandchild, and they say, In life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love. And the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear.

And the grandchild stops, they think about it for a second, they look up at their grandparent, and they say, Well, which one wins? And the grandparent says, The One You Feed. So, I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do.

Hi, Sari, welcome to the show.

Sari Botton (3:53)

That's so interesting. Well, I agree with that. What you put your attention on is what grows in your world.

And I am very focused on being kind and just. I've joked in the past that like kindness is my kink.

I like to try and give people the benefit of the doubt and to do work that matters. If I find myself feeling jealous or envious or greedy, it's not a place I want to be. It's not a place I feel comfortable. So I try to shift things. And when I do yoga at the end, when there's like a meditative moment, I try to send loving kindness to the people who I am struggling with in life. Because I think that's a good thing. More loving kindness is a good thing. And maybe it can shift things. And I've found that it does.