How To Read People, Calm Tension, Build Trust, and Ask For What You're Worth | John Richardson

**Dan Harris** (0:03)
Hello, everybody. Welcome to the 10% Happier Podcast. I'm your host, Dan Harris. Today, we are talking about the psychology and skill of negotiation. You might think of negotiation as something that happens only in a business context, but we are negotiating all day long with our children if we have them, with our romantic partners if we have one on and on. And there really is a skill here that you can practice. Some of us might think we are bad negotiators, but we can get better if only by 10%. My guest today is John Richardson, who has taught negotiation at Harvard Law School and MIT's Sloan School of Management. And he's got a new book called Never Settle, Persuasion and Negotiation Skills to Get What You Want. We're going to talk about why lying is stupid, all sorts of healthy manipulation tools. That's his formulation, healthy manipulation. How to create trust, how to control your emotions in a negotiation, how to ask for more, and when to say no, and much more. This is a great conversation, super, super practical. John Richardson coming up after this quick break.
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John Richardson, welcome to the show.

**John Richardson** (4:27)
Thanks. Real pleasure to be here, Dan.

**Dan Harris** (4:29)
So let's start on a definitional tip here. You have taught negotiation at Harvard and MIT. You have written a book called Never Settle. What is negotiation?

**John Richardson** (4:38)
I'd say it's anytime you're trying to persuade someone to change the decision that they're going to make. I guess you could say, well, okay, that applies like a one-way thing like sales, and that's true. I guess negotiation is you're both trying to do it at the same time with each other or with a larger group.