How Leaders Stay Grounded, with Aiko Bethea

Dave Stachowiak (0:00)

I've seen so many activities over the years to help leaders clarify their values. I have built some of them myself, and most of them, including the ones I've built, miss a big question. What do those values actually mean? In this episode, how to help us all do a better job of answering that question and staying grounded. This is Coaching for Leaders, episode 799

Aiko Bethea (0:26)

Produced by Innovate Learning. Maximizing Human Potential.

Dave Stachowiak (0:34)

Greetings to you from Orange County, California. This is Coaching for Leaders, and I'm your host, Dave Stachowiak. Leaders are born, they're made. And this weekly show helps leaders thrive at key inflection points. I think one of the things that almost all of us have heard, seen, talked about, thought about are values.

You know, every time I read a leadership development book or go to a leadership program, almost always there's a conversation about values. And yet, we often don't go further into that conversation to really dive in on what do values mean, why are they important to us, how do they actually show up, and what are the behaviors behind those values, and how do we embrace them in such a way that not only serves us, but also supports the organization that we support and help make the world a better place. And today, I'm so glad to be able to welcome an expert that's going to help us to really think about how we approach our values in a way that is genuine and true for all of us. I'm so pleased to welcome to the show Aiko Bethea. Aiko is the founder and CEO of RARE Coaching & Consulting, a leadership development firm that partners with Fortune 100 companies, non-profits, and global organizations to build accountable, values-driven cultures. She's listed as the number three top executive coach of 2026 by the industry leader and has spent over a decade coaching C-suite leaders across industries and served previously as Deputy Director at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. She is the author of Anchored, Aligned, Accountable, a framework for transcending BS and transforming our lives and work. Aiko, such a pleasure to have you here.

Aiko Bethea (2:21)

Thank you so much for having me, Dave.

Dave Stachowiak (2:23)

I loved getting into your work and I grabbed the third paragraph of the book, because I think it speaks to so much of this conversation that we're about to have.

You write in that paragraph, In a world where we can gather information from anywhere and where artificial intelligence can channel the voices of anyone, our inner awareness loses calibration. We live plugged into countless connections, yet we still feel an epidemic of loneliness and alienation. We have automated solutions to everything at our fingertips, yet we still crave rest and spaciousness. I read that and I thought, boy, I don't think it's ever been easy to know ourselves, but perhaps today it's harder than it's ever been, isn't it?

Aiko Bethea (3:12)

I'd agree. I think even in the work that we do with our clients, we note that a lot. And maybe the time that they have where there's actually some stillness is when they're in a session with their executive coach.

It's not something that just happens naturally. It's almost like you have to be very intentional about it.

Dave Stachowiak (3:31)

We hear the word values a lot. And as I mentioned in the intro, anytime we're talking about leadership or read a leadership book, almost always the word comes up. What is it that's significant about identifying what they are for each of us?

Aiko Bethea (3:48)

Oh, values are your true north. They signify what's most important to you. They signify when the rubber meets the road, what is it that I should go to?

They help us to live a life that's not filled with regret. They help us to make decisions quicker. They help us to be aligned in how we show up. They help us to navigate very difficult moments in a way that is truest to us and most honest to us.

Dave Stachowiak (4:17)

You write on this, being connected within and grounded in our values and who we truly aspire to be supports us in being vigilant and holding ourselves accountable, interrogating our stealth intentions, and even having joy and conviction in a dystopian world.

And you said the word anchored a moment ago, and you used the analogy of an anchor in thinking about values. What is it about an anchor that captures this so well?

Aiko Bethea (4:45)

So what do you think about when you think about the word anchor? What comes up for you, Dave?

Dave Stachowiak (4:48)