How Couples Navigate Finance: Live from Future Proof

SPEAKER_1 (0:02)

Bloomberg Audio Studios, Podcasts, Radio, News.

SPEAKER_2 (0:08)

You're listening to Bloomberg Businessweek with Carol Massar and Tim Stenovec on Bloomberg Radio.

Carol Massar (0:16)

Well, back with us at Future Proof, Doug and Heather Boneparth of Bonefide Wealth. They're married, they work together. If you remember from our conversation here last year, they also co-wrote the book Money Together, Doug Founder of Bonefide Wealth. Heather is a lawyer who's Director of Business and Legal Affairs. They've got around 150 billion dollars in assets under management. They're usually on the East Coast. They're here.

I don't know where your kids are, if you guys are both here.

Heather Joelle Boneparth (0:39)

What are you talking about? What kids? I don't know if you guys are both here. I don't know who's taking the kids to school.

Douglas Boneparth (0:44)

I'll take that 150 billion in assets under management.

SPEAKER_1 (0:46)

Can I say 150 million?

Carol Massar (0:47)

150 million in assets under management.

Heather Joelle Boneparth (0:49)

We're on our way.

SPEAKER_2 (0:49)

150 million in assets under management.

Tim Stenovec (0:52)

Hey, I'm here for you guys.

Douglas Boneparth (0:55)

Thank you.

Carol Massar (0:55)

He didn't answer the question about kids.

Douglas Boneparth (0:58)

My mom is watching our daughters.

SPEAKER_2 (1:00)

Thank you, mom.

Tim Stenovec (1:01)

Who's watching your kids?

Heather Joelle Boneparth (1:02)

My wife. Okay.

Douglas Boneparth (1:05)

The actual logistics of us both being here, it's wild.

Carol Massar (1:09)

No, I know.

Douglas Boneparth (1:10)

What a 2026 statement.

Carol Massar (1:11)

But you know what? It goes to the core of your book, which is communicating about this stuff. And if you, if anybody who was in a relationship understands that most conflict comes from not communicating properly, right? Like it comes from a place of, wait, what's going on here? Because we didn't talk about it. Is it any different, Heather, with money?

Heather Joelle Boneparth (1:29)

Oh, it is no different with money. We often say that disputes about money are never really just about the money, right? Money is the manifestation of something else going on because our money beliefs go way, way back. Some of our earliest money beliefs start when we're children, right? They come from our culture, from our experiences, from the things that we observe growing up. When you get together with somebody and you start a life with them, you've got two people with two different beliefs and two different messages that dictate their behavior. It's incredibly difficult to stay aligned on that. If you're not communicating, it's difficult.

Tim Stenovec (2:05)

How important is it, Doug, come on in on this, that you have that conversation before or early in your relationship and you start talking about things like this?

Douglas Boneparth (2:13)

Absolutely. You're not going to get all into each other's financial wares right off the bat, but it should be a buildup as the relationship evolves, and the responsibilities continue to grow, you're going to want to go deeper and deeper into understanding what that background looks like because you're going to be committed for a long time. By the way, the responsibilities are only going to continue to grow. You start in thinking about maybe buying a home and obviously having kids. You get to a point where you really do want to have this figured out, and compounding works sometimes the opposite way, right? The issues you didn't address early on will actually start to compound later in life. How many times have you seen kids go off to college and the parents don't even know each other? A lot of relationships actually fall apart there because you didn't have those conversations. You're completely lost in your marriage, and now you're the statistic. Now you're the coin flip.

I don't want to rest on a 50-50 chance of my marriage working out.

Carol Massar (3:08)

So now you see why I asked about the kids, right? That is the entry into the conversation about communication.

Tim Stenovec (3:15)

All right. My daughter is a year out from college, working on her own, working in Boston, and I was thinking, it's my anniversary today, 36 years. I'm feeling actually pretty good. Congratulations. I love our daughter, but it's really nice to be on her own again.

SPEAKER_1 (3:29)

You know what?

Tim Stenovec (3:30)

Love you, Aggie.

SPEAKER_1 (3:31)

It's not bad.

Tim Stenovec (3:32)

No, but we've had a lot of conversations over the years about money.

Carol Massar (3:36)

We have a colleague whose kid is going off to college next year, who just went off, and he is so ready.

Heather Joelle Boneparth (3:48)

You know what one of the crazy things is? I think before you have kids, you have this idea of like, am I ready? Am I not ready? Will we ever be ready? The thing we say to people is, all you have to be ready for is a life of constant change once you have children, right? Because nothing will ever stay the same forever. Like, look, you've got kids going off to college, you're entering a new chapter in your life and in your marriage. Like, you just have to be willing to embrace that change and that fluidity. And it applies to so much with our money and our household and our lives.