How can I recognise a narcissistic pervert?

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**Joseph Chance** (0:57)
How can I recognize a narcissistic pervert?
Thanks for asking.
The concept of the narcissistic pervert has invaded our screens and magazines in recent years. It's used a lot, but sometimes wrongly or without full understanding. So what is it really about? The term was first defined in 1986 by French psychoanalyst Paul-Claude Racamier. He said that narcissistic perverts have a prevailing need to boost their own self-esteem at the expense of others, and actually take pleasure from doing so. According to Racamier, it's based on two antagonistic but inseparable mechanisms. Firstly, self-assertion, based on narcissistic seduction, or in other words, the desire to please, and secondly, the denial of others, which is the narcissist's defensive strategy to protect themselves from inner wounds. What actually is a narcissistic pervert? To begin, let's unravel those two key components. A narcissist is someone who exhibits an excessive sense of self-importance, an insatiable need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. While a pervert, in psychological terms, refers to a person who deviates from societal norms, or displays abnormal behaviour. When these traits combine, you get what's known as a narcissistic pervert. An individual who not only seeks personal validation and control, but also engages in behaviour that crosses ethical and moral boundaries.
Aren't we all a little like that? What makes narcissistic perverts different? It's true that elements of narcissism can be found in many individuals. After all, healthy self-esteem and a desire for recognition are common traits. But what sets narcissistic perverts apart is the intensity and persistence of those traits. Coupled with the disregard for the well-being and boundaries of others, they go way beyond occasional self-centeredness. Where most people seek approval or recognition, narcissistic perverts go to extreme lengths, often exploiting or manipulating others to fulfil their desires. Their lack of empathy and willingness to cause harm to achieve their goals distinguish them from the typical human tendency to seek validation. Typical narcissistic pervert behaviour includes using double-speak, which is evasive or ambiguous language that leaves you in doubt as to what a person really thinks, lying to present themselves in the best possible light, and rapidly changing demeanour between public and private spheres. Are narcissistic perverts dangerous to be around? In short, yes. Their manipulative behaviour can lead to significant emotional, psychological and even physical harm to their victims by destroying their self-esteem. According to Le Monde journalist Martine Larranche, narcissistic perverts can push their victims into extreme confusion and depression, which can even lead to suicide. So it's incredibly important to recognise the warning signs and protect yourself. Of course, not all narcissistic perverts will escalate to extreme levels of danger, but their potential for harm shouldn't be underestimated. If you're in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic pervert, there's only one solution really, and that is to walk away.
There you have it.
Now you know how you can recognise a narcissistic pervert. In under three minutes, we answer your questions and help you understand the true meaning behind the trends, concepts and acronyms that are making headlines. Listen along and you will really know for sure.