Ep 640 - Metasexuality (feat. Dylan Sullivan & SWIM)

Lemaire Lee (0:00)

Wow, wow, Wes.

Matt McCusker (0:02)

Oh my God, sorry that, well, you guys don't notice what the broadcast was delayed. Lemaire, this place is what, like 600, 500 square feet? Lemaire shit in the bathroom, and it stunk up the entire 500 square feet of my office apartment.

Shane Gillis (0:15)

On a whole nother level of stink.

Matt McCusker (0:17)

Dude, a fruit? You got a fruity booty, bro.

It's got that like fruit smell, it's like a fruit smell, bro. You got a fruity booty, but doody. It's stuck the whole. I was like, all right, it's just a bathroom. I go up into my office, my office stinks. And I'm like, oh, now the fucking ad thing was my lobby studio stinks.

Shane Gillis (0:37)

Thing was stank.

Matt McCusker (0:38)

Yeah, you know, I got to say, you know, it's kind of sus, bro. Did we stank in that frutely? I mean, it's one thing if it's a savory stank, that's alpha. That's a fruity stank.

Lemaire Lee (0:50)

I just ate bananas and strawberries.

Dylan Sullivan (0:52)

Is that what you've been doing?

Lemaire Lee (0:53)

Bananas, strawberries and watermelon.

SPEAKER_5 (0:55)

I thought it was lube.

Shane Gillis (0:58)

That makes sense.

Matt McCusker (0:59)

So banana, strawberry, scented lube.

Shane Gillis (1:02)

I didn't want to say anything.

Matt McCusker (1:04)

It was flavored lube.

Shane Gillis (1:05)

I thought it was flavored lube.

Matt McCusker (1:07)

They have sour apple.

SPEAKER_5 (1:08)

I don't want to put that on them though.

Shane Gillis (1:10)

I think there's anything wrong with that.

Dylan Sullivan (1:11)

True, true, true. It's super angering because you know, like 8% of it smells good.

SPEAKER_6 (1:18)

Yeah, you are chasing those notes.

Shane Gillis (1:22)

It gets past your first defense mechanism. You're like, damn, I can't. Oh, fuck, that's shit.

Matt McCusker (1:28)

Oh, that's human waste.

It's the ghost of human waste, haunting my whole fucking my, you know, it's a sacred space for me. It's where I get all my work done.

But you did announce, that's the one thing. Fair warning is like, you can't be mad. Someone gives fair warning. It's like, all right.

Shane Gillis (1:42)

So now it smells like what is Palo Santo?

Matt McCusker (1:45)

Yeah, that's my little, my smudgy guy. I put the Palo Santo and the smudge in the candle and then the candle burns it up.

Dylan Sullivan (1:51)

That kind of got rid of the energy.

Shane Gillis (1:52)

Yeah, that kind of completely cleared the energy in the room.

Matt McCusker (1:56)

Got rid of it.

Shane Gillis (1:56)

It was strong too.

Matt McCusker (1:58)

Yeah. Dude, I yesterday, yesterday I was actually chastised a little bit. I was I had posted just a thing I thought was cool. I was curious, like, you know, hard science. What percentage of women could actually best me in physical combat in the world? What was it? They're like .0001.

It's pretty good. Again, I take no pleasure in this information, but it is kind of cool to know four billion people in the world off the rip that I can don't have to worry about in terms of physical combat. Right. That's four billion. Then you have children. It's all of them up until like 15 I have to think about any one of the strongest people in the world. I literally I'm trying to say out of eight billion people, I can beat up six billion. I can beat up probably six and a half billion people.

I'm a 40 year old man at the height of my powers. So I can beat up a dude, six billion people in this world. I could just completely fucking decimate.

Shane Gillis (2:55)

What's the stats on like 24 year old dudes? You could be a hundred. I go 100 24 year old dudes, even the ones with muscles. I say, I'm like, try something.

Matt McCusker (3:05)

Yeah, try it.

Shane Gillis (3:06)

You have no idea what I have.

Matt McCusker (3:07)

Also that you're there. They're not as ready to die. That's what I'm saying. I have no idea. It's like you can't even beat me to a bloody pulp. I'm going to I'm going to like rip one of your testicles off. I'm going to I'm going to scar you like a demon from the underworld.

Shane Gillis (3:20)

I'm going to come out with all my aggression, all my anger that you're 24 and get to do 20 years on top of me.

Matt McCusker (3:24)

So I would easily kill a little bit of gay rage. Yeah, I would just fight dirtier and dirtier as I'm going.