**Matt Walsh** (0:00)
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Well, we are back after a two-week break, which of course in the podcasting business means we've missed approximately 100,000 news cycles or so.
We weren't able to cover the 15 different ceasefire agreements that we signed with Iran, each of which lasted on average about five minutes, so we're very effective. We couldn't even cover Taylor Swift's wedding to the 13th best Titan in the NFL. Very private, reverent affair held in Madison Square Garden with Adam Sandler officiating. As a big fan of Taylor Swift and even bigger fan of celebrity weddings, as you know, I would have liked to do my show live from outside the venue, cover it live, but unfortunately, I was on vacation.
Also, from what I understand, anyone who came within a five block radius of the ceremony with a net worth under $100 million was immediately shot on site. Most tragically of all, we weren't able to discuss the day-to-day developments in the World Cup, a tournament which lasted for approximately 8,000 years or so, and which in the end felt less like a soccer tournament and more like definitive proof beamed out to tens of millions of people that demographic replacement is indeed very real. The match between France and England might as well have been between Nigeria and Cameroon. You had to squint to find a white guy on the pitch at all. Come to think of it, here's some free advice to anybody who wants to make a viral YouTube video. Take someone who doesn't know anything about soccer, cover up the scoreboard, mute the audio, and have them watch the match between France and England. After a few minutes, have them guess what teams are playing.
Nobody will get it right, not even close. Hilarity will ensue and then YouTube will take the video down and New York Times will call you racist and your life will be destroyed. But on the bright side, you'll have made a very important point, and you'll have created a video that's infinitely more entertaining than soccer could ever dream of being.
We also missed the release of The Odyssey. I haven't seen it yet, so I can't deliver my verdict on it. The clip of Ellen Page that's made the rounds, running awkwardly in body armor with the gate of a small child who just soiled her diaper doesn't fill me with much hope for the film, but I'll have to see the movie before I can give it a final grade. The problem is that apparently you have to hack through the jungle and traverse mountains and deserts to find one of the three and a half theaters on the globe that actually show the film in the format the director intended, which makes a lot of sense for a big blockbuster movie. But there was one event from the break that warrants, I think, a deeper discussion because of the larger point it leads us to, though it's not an event that would seem to be particularly significant on its surface. I'm talking about the recent Democrat Senate debate in the state of Maine. Now, as you may remember, Graham Platner, the socialist with the Nazi tattoo who won in the Democrats' primary recently withdrew from the race, and that's another story that I think we missed. Something that happened during the break. He didn't withdraw because he was unpopular. Every poll showed that Democrat voters loved his whole vibe, the Nazi tattoo, the multiple accusations of sexual assault and so on. But he withdrew because of a rape allegation that proved to be the final straw. One allegation too many, I guess, and the party establishment decided that enough was enough. He was becoming too much of a distraction and he needed to step aside. And Platner's abrupt withdrawal from the race naturally created something of a power vacuum in party politics because the primary was already held. Democrat delegates throughout Maine have to vote on the replacement candidate. Normal everyday voters are irrelevant at this point, as they usually are in Democrat party politics. You may be sensing a pattern. So in order to help these delegates make up their mind, Maine Democrats held a debate featuring a handful of their most promising candidates. And one of those candidates is an obese man wearing a dress and using the name Ashley J. Webb.
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