Dr. Oz Solution for TDS

**Hammer** (0:01)
As Caroline Lovett continues to take some time off, she dropped a shorty not too long ago. She's on maternity leave.

**Nigel** (0:09)
Press secretary.

**Hammer** (0:09)
Press secretary for the White House. They've been having daily briefings hosted by different people.

**Nigel** (0:15)
Special guests.

**Hammer** (0:16)
Right.
Marco Rubio has done it. JD Vance has done it. It was Dr. Oz's turn, and Dr. Oz, because again, doctor, he was asked, how do you treat Trump derangement syndrome?

**Nigel** (0:33)
Question.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:34)
Do you have any medical advice for the Americans out there that are suffering from a very serious ailment called Trump derangement syndrome?

**Nigel** (0:41)
I am concerned about folks who have focused their entire life energy on dislike of the president. It's disheartening to see people lost in that way, but it's treating stupid is really hard.

**Hammer** (0:54)
Okay. Thank you, doctor. Now, treating TDS isn't anything new, Nig. If you remember, the very first product we released from Hammer and Nigel Pharmaceuticals was designed to treat such an ailment.
Are you angry all the time? Do you feel violent when you see the president?

**SPEAKER_4** (1:15)
I have thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House.

**Hammer** (1:19)
It could be that you have a burning case of Trump derangement syndrome.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:26)
Yes!

**Hammer** (1:27)
Trump derangement syndrome is a real thing for most millennials and uneducated celebrities. Symptoms of Trump derangement syndrome include saying the following things. He's not my president.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:39)
That's it. We're heading to World War III.

**Hammer** (1:41)
To help combat Trump derangement syndrome and help keep your panties from getting into a wad or a bunch, Hammer and Nigel Pharmaceuticals have launched an all new pill. It's called the Super Helpful Unwadding Trousers Unwinding Pill. Or you could just use the acronym, SHUT UP. Nine out of ten doctors agree that a big dose of SHUT UP is the first step to recovery from Trump derangement syndrome. Ask your doctor if SHUT UP is the best approach for you.
Side effects of SHUT UP may include the understanding that your feelings don't matter, a basic understanding of jobs and the economy, nonsensical and misspelled tweets coming to you at all hours of the night and the day. SHUT UP, now available from Hammer and Nigel Pharmaceuticals.
There we go. We made millions. We did. And we blew it all by gambling on the Colts.