Damn Nature, You Scary!

Hammer (0:00)

We've got a Damn Nature You Scary to talk about.

Nigel (0:05)

The Hammer and Nigel Show.

SPEAKER_3 (0:07)

Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals? Hey, baby, let's go out there like a bunch of crazedogs, and have some fun.

Nigel (0:13)

The dingo ate your baby.

SPEAKER_3 (0:15)

And now Hammer and Nigel proudly presents Damn Nature You Scary, a 93 WIBC.

Hammer (0:22)

Lions.

Nigel (0:23)

And tigers.

Hammer (0:27)

You know, sometimes it doesn't have to be a big animal that can make you say, damn, nature, you scary. OK, sometimes you can be scared by a beaver.

Nigel (0:40)

Been scared by many.

Hammer (0:44)

The New York Post. Thirteen year old boy attacked by a rabid beaver at a state park in Maryland has had to go through multiple surgeries. Oh, no.

Nigel (0:57)

Oh, that's awful.

Hammer (0:58)

The teenager went through multiple surgeries after a rabid beaver attacked him while he was visiting a state park with his family.

It grabbed his hand and leg, and he tried to like get it off of him, and it just locked in. So he started shaking more, and that's when the beaver dug in. He fought it off for a second time, and then the beaver kept biting him and scratching him. He was airlifted to Johns Hopkins Hospital to have his wounds treated and have a course and a series of rabies shots.

Nigel (1:35)

Yeah.

Hammer (1:36)

And it wasn't just one shot, Nigel. Multiple shots around each bite. So every bite mark on this kid's body, no matter where he got bit by the beaver, he had to have multiple rabies shots.

Nigel (1:49)

The penicillin?

Hammer (1:51)

The beaver did test positive for rabies.

Nigel (1:55)

That's awesome. Nice beaver. Thank you.

Hammer (1:59)

I just had it stuffed.

Nigel (2:00)

Let me help you with that.

Hammer (2:02)

And this isn't the first time we're dealing with rabid beavers this summer.

A rabid beaver also attacked a 10-year-old at another park about 40 miles south. According to reports, rabid beaver attacks are up 17 percent, Nigel.

Nigel (2:22)

Man, I would have loved that percentage back in Broad Ripple in the early 2000s.

Hammer (2:27)

Just 17? You're playing with house money, kid.

Let's go.

Nigel (2:32)

I'm looking at the rabies vaccine schedule for people like you have to do, like on days 0, 3, 7, and 14 You are getting shots left and right. And I don't even know if it's guaranteed to save your life.

It's such an awful thing to get attacked by something, especially like a beaver. And I know we're making a lot of double untundra jokes.

Hammer (3:00)

You had a big problem with the pumpkin out for Halloween. And here you are making beaver joke after beaver joke, tying it into your days in Broad Ripple.

Hypocrite. Come on.

Nigel (3:12)

Hypocrite.

Hammer (3:13)

Yeah. You were really offended by the Jabberin Jack, the pumpkin from the Is This Anything story we had earlier.

Nigel (3:20)

It's offensive.

Hammer (3:21)

And then you go on the biggest flame throwing radio station in the state of Indiana. We're heard from the top to the bottom. We have the number one show.

Nigel (3:30)

Yes.

Hammer (3:31)

And you've been doing your Andrew Dice Clay impression of Beaver Joke. Hey, oh.

And I've been laughing at them, but I'm consistent. I was fine with Jabberin Jack, and I'm fine with you talking about how infectious beavers can be. And if you don't have anything for the Friday mashup by this point, Allison, I can't help you. Over 100 people gathered at the beach in San Francisco so they could scream at the ocean, Nigel.

Nigel (4:00)

Oh, not one of these things. Stop. I don't even want to hear it.

Hammer (4:05)

They could think about anything bad in their life. It wasn't just a Trump thing.

Nigel (4:09)

No, it's a Trump thing. I don't even know what the story is or the context. It's a Trump thing. But go ahead.

Hammer (4:16)

Want to hear from some lunatics?

Nigel (4:17)

Sure.

Hammer (4:19)

This is the moment that we've all been treating for and that you guys all came out here for today. Really think about all the horrible things, every horrible thing that's ever happened to you before you were born into this cruel, cruel world.

Nigel (4:28)

We're going to let it all out, 100% of your powers, on three, two, one.

Hammer (4:42)

That's also what it sounds like when you pee after encountering a rabbit beaver.

See? Two can play this game, baby. Two can play this game.

Nigel (4:51)

It sounded like, play that again, Allison, and I'm going to do something here. Because that sounded to me like a scene from Christmas Vacation.