Damn Nature, You Scary!

**Nigel** (0:01)
The Hammer and Nigel Show.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:02)
Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?

**Hammer** (0:05)
Hey baby, let's go out there with a bunch of crazedogs, have some fun.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:08)
The dingo ate your baby. And now Hammer and Nigel proudly presents...

**Nigel** (0:13)
Damn, nature, you're scary...

**Hammer** (0:15)
.on 93WIBC.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:18)
Lions. And tigers. And bears. Oh my.

**Nigel** (0:21)
So Hammer, this team of chicks were in some sort... They were paddling in a canoe race in Monterey Bay, and a sea lion out of nowhere jumps up in front of their canoe. Here they are rowing along when it happens. I mean, it sounds like you jumping shirtless off the side of the dock when they're floating by.

**Hammer** (0:54)
Me and Geist. Get ready! Cannonball!

**Nigel** (0:58)
That's it! Play it again, except now imagine Hammer doing a cannonball off a dock in Geist.
Cannonball!

**Hammer** (1:15)
I got my knees tucked in.

**Nigel** (1:19)
You know, I don't know, like Monterey Bay, I'm sure it's beautiful, but like if I'm if you know, there's a chance that a sea lion is going to attack you. Are you doing the canoe race?

**Hammer** (1:31)
I don't know. I feel like if you're the type of person who gets into canoeing, you're probably OK with a little wildlife. You're probably prepared for it, right? Like, I don't think you hike through the Smoky Mountains not prepared to see a bear, right? I think that's part of the gig, is it not?

**Nigel** (1:47)
Yeah, but you better be also prepared to run your ass off. Damn, nature, you scary.

**Hammer** (1:55)
All right, I will see your sea lion story and I will raise you a sea lion story.
Multiple people on the beach caught multiple angles of these surfers who were chased by a couple sea lions, not only in the water, but then they got to shore. The sea lions wanted the smoke. They were chasing these guys and people who always say, oh, the news crews, the local camera people, they only talk to ridiculous people. Well, if that's the case, explain this.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:30)
Sitting up for a wave, boom, it hits my leg, kind of like hard, like boom. I look underneath and there's just a big shape circling to face me. I was like shark. And then they just body surf away with their mouth open. Like, oh, I was like a dragon in Game of Thrones. I swear to God, both of it, one went for Kay, one went for me. I thought we were chill on land. Turns out these could run like 15 miles an hour.

**Nigel** (2:54)
I want to party with those guys.

**Hammer** (2:56)
It was like the kids of Spicoli, like if they did a Fast Times at Ridgemont High-like reboot, those would be like the kids or grandkids of Jeff Spicoli.

**Nigel** (3:05)
Sea lions are cute, but I'm watching some footage on YouTube right now. They're mean little bastards.

**Hammer** (3:12)
That's actually Joy Behar's pool party. You need to watch another video.
Sorry, you you stumbled across the wrong.

**Nigel** (3:19)
Oh, you're right.

**Hammer** (3:19)
Wrong video.