Creepy Pair of Underwear!

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

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SPEAKER_2 (0:31)

This is Believe, one network, every topic, everywhere.

Lisa Bueno (0:37)

Okay, our friends, so today we are reading our spooky stories, and we've got a great one for you today.

Because we've read about all the things that you could possibly think of for scary seasons, right? We've read about ghosts, and we've read about haunted houses, and we've read about monsters, and we've read about pumpkins, and what else have we read about? Ghosts and creepy things. Well, today-

Philip (1:08)

This one's just weird.

Lisa Bueno (1:10)

This one's just silly.

Philip (1:12)

It's underwear.

Lisa Bueno (1:14)

Oh my goodness. It is.

SPEAKER_2 (1:15)

This one's just weird.

Philip (1:17)

It is.

Lisa Bueno (1:17)

Today's story is about creepy underwear. In fact, that's what it's called. The creepy pair of underwear.

This story was written by Aaron Reynolds, and the pictures are Peter Brown, and it's read today by Mommy.

SPEAKER_5 (1:34)

And...

Philip (1:36)

Philip.

Lisa Bueno (1:37)

Well, let's do it.

Philip (1:38)

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We have a special announcement.

Lisa Bueno (1:42)

Oh, a special announcement?

Philip (1:43)

Yeah.

Lisa Bueno (1:44)

What is your special announcement today?

Philip (1:47)

Um, ten.

Lisa Bueno (1:49)

You're ten. It's true. When we started this podcast, he was...

Philip (1:53)

No, seriously. I'm actually ten years old. It's my birthday.

Lisa Bueno (1:56)

I know. When we started this podcast, you were three.

And now you're ten. Holy macaroni! Have we been doing this for seven years? Have you grown up on this podcast? It's true. He has. If you ever want a time capsule, you can listen to one of the early episodes and you can hear little baby Philip. But now you can hear ten-year-old Philip.

It's true. And we are so proud of you and we're so glad that you're here.

SPEAKER_1 (2:26)

Right, guys?

Lisa Bueno (2:26)

Everyone say, yeah, we love you, Philip. Well, you can't hear them, but they're saying it.

SPEAKER_1 (2:31)

Yeah, we love you, Philip.

Lisa Bueno (2:33)

And we're going to say happy birthday. And now let's read a very silly story just for you today. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_1 (2:40)

Here we go.

Lisa Bueno (2:41)

Jasper Rabbit needed new underwear. On Thursday, Mom took him to the underwear store and grabbed the last three packages of plain white.

Philip (2:53)

As they headed for the checkout, that actually kind of makes me think that's weird because like, it's weird. How come there's a store just for underwear?

Lisa Bueno (3:03)

Some stores sell just underwear. It's true.

As they headed for the checkout, Jasper spotted them.

Philip (3:15)

Creepy underwear.

Lisa Bueno (3:18)

So creepy.

SPEAKER_5 (3:19)

So comfy.

Lisa Bueno (3:21)

They were glorious. Mom! Mom! Can we get these? Jasper pleaded.

I think they're a little too creepy, said Mom.

Philip (3:31)

They're not creepy. They just look like Frankenstein. And me personally, Frankenstein is like level one on a creepy scale.

Lisa Bueno (3:38)

Oh, yeah?

Philip (3:38)

Yeah.

Lisa Bueno (3:39)

They're not creepy. They're cool, said Jasper. I'm no little bunny anymore. I'm a big rabbit now.

Mom agreed to buy one pair. That night, Jasper wore his cool new underwear to bed.

SPEAKER_5 (3:53)

Do you want me to leave the hallway light on?

Lisa Bueno (3:56)

Asked Dad. Dad, I'm no little bunny anymore, said Jasper. I'm a big rabbit now.

Who do I know who's a big rabbit? Er, wait, never mind.

Philip (4:09)

I'm a killer.

Lisa Bueno (4:10)

His dad shut the door, and that's when Jasper noticed the underwear glowed.

SPEAKER_5 (4:18)

A ghoulish, greenish glow.

Philip (4:22)

Did the dude's eyes just change? Did the underwear dude's eyes just change? Hmm.

Lisa Bueno (4:30)

He closed his eyes. He pulled up the covers. He buried his face in his pillow, but it didn't help.

SPEAKER_5 (4:35)

He could still see that ghoulish, greenish glow.

Lisa Bueno (4:40)

Jasper leaped out of bed and put on a pair of plain white. He stuffed the creepy underwear into the bottom of his laundry hamper. He finally fell asleep. But when he got up the next day, he was wearing the creepy underwear.

Jasper threw them into the garbage can. He was still a big rabbit. He wasn't scared or anything, but he was done with the scary underwear. After school, Jasper was doing his homework when he heard it. A scratchy, scraping sound coming from his dresser. He opened the drawer and they were back! Staring at him with that ghoulish, greenish glow, he snatched the creepy underwear out of the drawer. He grabbed a big envelope and some stamps, and he's writing, To China!