Crash Court is Back! - Episode 279

SPEAKER_1 (0:01)

Welcome back, frickin frack. Welcome to the jungle.

SPEAKER_2 (0:04)

ABC Tonight.

SPEAKER_3 (0:07)

Abbott is back.

SPEAKER_4 (0:08)

It's gonna be the best year yet.

SPEAKER_5 (0:10)

Thank you, now we can finally turn this up.

SPEAKER_6 (0:14)

And everyone's going wild.

SPEAKER_7 (0:16)

Y'all think you run this school, but you don't.

Michael Esiobu (0:19)

It's going great.

SPEAKER_6 (0:19)

Abbott Elementary.

SPEAKER_9 (0:21)

Anything can happen in the jungle, right guys?

Michael Esiobu (0:25)

Season premiere tonight on ABC, and stream next day on Hulu.

SPEAKER_10 (0:30)

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Patrick Johnson Jr. (0:59)

The thing I wanted to bring up right away, I know Kerry probably going to say something about it, is the whole Savannah James thing, where her co-host from the podcast, how it's a big controversy how she flies first class and her friend who's on the same flight and they go in the same place, flies coach on that. And you know, a lot of people are pocket watching, obviously LeBron James is a billionaire, and they're saying that she shouldn't let her friend go first class. I mean, she shouldn't let her friends go coach and she should be first class.

SPEAKER_1 (1:33)

She says she does business class.

Michael Esiobu (1:36)

Yeah.

Patrick Johnson Jr. (1:37)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_1 (1:37)

Which to me, that's better than coach, ain't it?

Michael Esiobu (1:40)

That is better than coach.

Patrick Johnson Jr. (1:41)

It's way better than coach.

Michael Esiobu (1:42)

Right.

SPEAKER_1 (1:42)

And she's a millionaire herself, dang near. So if that's her preference, I don't get why everybody else is so mad about what she chooses to spend her money on.

Patrick Johnson Jr. (1:50)

People don't realize you got to put people in their place though. Cause this is a reason you got a billion dollars. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not going to lie. If I became a billionaire tomorrow, y'all will reap the benefits of all the time. Every single time, every time I got something, y'all will have it. But at some point I got to let you know, I'm the billionaire.

You know what I'm saying? So I'm going to invite y'all to like an island and shit.

Michael Esiobu (2:15)

You'll be like, the island is crazy, billionaire with an island. Okay.

SPEAKER_5 (2:18)

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_9 (2:19)

What kind of island?

SPEAKER_12 (2:20)

Cause freaky stuff is going on in the island.

Michael Esiobu (2:22)

I'm good on the island.

SPEAKER_5 (2:23)

Invite me somewhere else.

Patrick Johnson Jr. (2:24)

Okay. I was saying like, not my personal island, but like I went on vacation.

SPEAKER_5 (2:30)

Okay.

Patrick Johnson Jr. (2:30)

Mr. Mike-stein.

But you know what I'm saying? And then just be like, oh damn, we got the same thing Pat got. You know, it's all inclusive. Y'all eating, y'all got drinks. And he's like, oh shit, we can't even tell. Pat's so generous. And they're going to be like, yo, it's time to fly to the next island over there. And then y'all all going to walk to the airport and I'm just going to leave in the helicopter just to let you know I'm different. I might even have my helicopter circle y'all play.

SPEAKER_7 (3:02)

Like, be playing that y'all.

SPEAKER_10 (3:03)

I'll meet y'all over there.

Michael Esiobu (3:04)

All right, y'all. But I think other people just like counting other people's pockets. They do.

SPEAKER_1 (3:08)

Knowing that they wouldn't do the same even if they did have it.

SPEAKER_10 (3:11)

But they don't even know what it's like.

SPEAKER_1 (3:12)

Exactly.

SPEAKER_10 (3:13)

They don't know what it's like.

Patrick Johnson Jr. (3:14)

They never will know what it's like. Everybody is, to me, it's easier to do that shit when you don't have money. It's easier for me to walk into McDonald's with Mike, this one back when Mike was broke as fuck, and then he's walking in on your couch. Please, please, please, can you get me a McFlurry? I'm like, all right, bro, please, please, please, can you put M&M's in it? Fuck out of here, little.

SPEAKER_7 (3:33)

Sometimes you gotta put a in this place.

Michael Esiobu (3:36)

I had money since college though.