Could intentional lazy parenting foster your child's independence?

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**Joseph Chance** (1:04)
Could intentional lazy parenting foster your child's independence?
Thanks for asking. You have to navigate an almost endless list of uncertainties when raising a child, and it's hard to figure out the best approach to parenting. At one end of the spectrum, you've got so-called helicopter parents who micromanage every aspect of their children's lives. And at the other end, parents who are so hands-off that some label them as lazy. Maybe sometimes they are lazy. But in other cases, letting kids learn from their mistakes is an intentional choice rather than pure laziness. You might think that stepping back means kids are more likely to get into trouble. But that's not necessarily true. The idea is to scale back constant parental involvement to help kids develop their own skills, problem-solving abilities and independence. After all, if parents swoop in to solve every issue, how can children ever figure out how to manage on their own? Couldn't such an approach be seen as negligent? Well, it's not only about leaving your child to fend for themselves completely. It's more about observing, but only intervening when really necessary. For example, in a dangerous situation or other emergency. Scott Lutostansky is Managing Director at Galen Education in the US and has more than a decade of experience in education. Writing for the Washington Post in 2017, he introduced what he calls Intentional Laziness Parenting. A framework which he recognized sounds counterintuitive, but argued isn't actually lazy at all. Lutostansky said that it's difficult and requires both mental and physical determination from the parent. That's because it requires the parent to let their child make mistakes, even if it's inconvenient or frustrating for them. It's important to remember that allowing failure to happen actually gives kids the chance to learn and grow. That said, it's important to adjust this approach based on the child's age and development. So how exactly does one become a lazy parent? Here are a few of our favourite top tips from psychologists on how to embrace lazy parenting while staying engaged and attentive. Number one, stop checking their homework. It often causes unnecessary stress and let's be honest, your child won't learn much if you're doing the work for them.
Number two, let them get bored. There are worse things in life than being bored and boredom helps children develop skills like planning, problem solving and coping with discomforts. Not to mention it can spark imagination and build independence. Number three, let them make their own appointments as soon as they're old enough to handle a phone call and understand why the appointment matters. It's a great way to boost confidence in communication and teach responsibility.
Number four, let them play without you hovering. This of course depends on the child's age and it's a tough adjustment for both parent and child, but it's invaluable.
And finally, number five, take time for yourself. Lazy parenting isn't only about giving your kids space, it's about making room for yourself too. You're a parent, but you're also a person with your own needs. Taking time for self-care makes the moments you spend with your child more meaningful and enjoyable.
There you have it.
Now you know what intentional lazy parenting is. In under three minutes, we answer your questions and help you understand the true meaning behind the trends, concepts and acronyms that are making headlines. Listen along and you will really know for sure.