Caller Roulette, 7/14/26

**Nigel** (0:02)
Buckle up, anything can happen here. Oh, hell yeah, let it ride.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:07)
Let it ride.

**Nigel** (0:08)
Hammer and Nigel present Caller Roulette.

**Hammer** (0:13)
There's a great episode of The Simpsons where Crusty the Clown, the entertainer that has the TV show, he's reading off the cue cards and he can't really see what it says.
And take a listen, because this is my usual reaction and feeling when we do Caller Roulette. Now for my favorite part of the show.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:36)
What did they say?

**Hammer** (0:38)
Talk to the audience.

**SPEAKER_4** (0:40)
Oh, God, this is always death.

**Hammer** (0:42)
Truer words were never spoken, Crusty. Talk to the audience.
Oh, God, this is always death.

**Nigel** (0:51)
So there's a reason we don't do this bit every day.
Notice how we do, are you OK with this? And is this anything? And lewd, new dude in the news? Pretty much pretty much several times a week. There's a reason why we only do Caller Roulette once a week.

**Hammer** (1:07)
It's feast or famine. Sometimes the calls are really good.
And then sometimes Charles comes on and just sucks the life right out of the room for Charles. But again, the way this works, we have no idea what these people want to talk about. Like real shows, responsible shows. They would have their producer, in our case, Allison, would talk to them, coach them up, tell them to turn down their radio. What is it you want to talk about? Let us know all of this information so we can make it flow in conversation.
Hill, here, we have no idea what we're doing. So let's just light this candle. Tom is up first. Tom, welcome to the Hammer and Nigel Show. What do you want to talk about?

**SPEAKER_3** (1:50)
A quick poll query of everything here. First, the raccoons. Don't feed them, don't encourage them. We had them in our attic a few years ago. And do you know when raccoons make love? It's not during the day.
I'll leave it at that.

**Hammer** (2:05)
I thought you were going to say it's impressive.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:08)
It's hot.

**Nigel** (2:09)
I'm watching all the time.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:11)
Maybe we should have had a camera up in the attic. I don't know.
But a couple of quick questions here. When are you guys going to rename yourselves The Hammer, Nigel and Allison Show? It's just a matter of time. Let's get on with it, guys.

**Hammer** (2:27)
We've tried to incorporate Allison in so many things, but the problem, Tom, is she hates us.
That's something that I don't think you, the public, really fully understands. We have so many ideas that we shoot by Allison, and she gives us the middle finger.

**Nigel** (2:43)
Literally.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:43)
Well, but you've got to show me the money, you know?

**Hammer** (2:49)
That's a good point.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:49)
She's a wise lady.

**Hammer** (2:51)
We love Allison, though.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:54)
We do, too. A couple of other quick points. Thursday night, I think the big thing Trump's going to be talking about is the voting bill in honor of his good friend, Lindsey Graham, and try to rally the people to call their congressmen and congresswomen on that.
He wanted that passed, and Mr. Graham was definitely a real champion of it.

**Nigel** (3:13)
He's talking about the Save America Act.

**Hammer** (3:14)
Yeah. Yeah. They're trying to kind of do some back page legislation and tie it to defense bills right now.
So yeah, that's something to definitely keep an eye on. Tom, my man, don't be a stranger. Great call. Christina.

**SPEAKER_4** (3:27)
I love calling you.

**Hammer** (3:28)
You got it. Christina, what's happening, girl? How are you?

**SPEAKER_4** (3:33)
I am good. How are you guys? Good.

**Hammer** (3:35)
Great. What do you want to talk about?

**SPEAKER_4** (3:37)
I just wanted to say that I would like to hear more of your son, Chris Hammer, on the show.
Oh yeah, the boy. I really enjoy listening to him and he is such a smart, intelligent young man and I love it when he's on the show.

**Nigel** (3:56)
Well, you know what, Christina, ask and you shall receive. I'm calling in sick to work tomorrow.

**Hammer** (4:04)
Well, thank you for the kind words, Christina. Yeah, he is a smart dude. He's ahead of the curve. As many politicians have told him, you are older than your years.
I've always joked with my oldest son, Chris, who's 21 now. He is the oldest 21-year-old you will ever meet. Like his musical tastes are like Van Halen and ACDC. Like his idea of a good time is just going to the sticks of, you know, Tennessee and drinking moonshine with his buddies. And, you know, like I love chicks.