Brian and Judson hookup with Gay Tired Hopeful’s Andrew Abel and talk commodotizing sex, gay exhaustion, being born polyamorous and insatiable bottoms

Andrew Abel (0:02)

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Brian Rubin-Sowers (0:25)

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Judson Morrow (0:26)

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Brian Rubin-Sowers (0:31)

This is Believe. One network. Every topic. Everywhere.

Hi, friends. Welcome to Dads And Daddies, a podcast about the lives and times of adult gay men in the here and now. I am Brian Rubin-Sowers, the dad.

Judson Morrow (0:56)

And I am Judson Morrow, the daddy.

Brian Rubin-Sowers (0:59)

Hi, Judson.

Judson Morrow (1:00)

What up, B?

Brian Rubin-Sowers (1:01)

How are you?

Judson Morrow (1:02)

I'm doing great. I'm chilling.

Brian Rubin-Sowers (1:04)

You have yet to tell me about your high school reunion, your 25th high school reunion.

Judson Morrow (1:09)

Yes, part three of the trilogy. Part three of the saga.

Brian Rubin-Sowers (1:15)

Funeral, Provincetown, high school reunion.

Judson Morrow (1:18)

Funeral, Provincetown, high school reunion.

Brian Rubin-Sowers (1:19)

This was all one trip.

Judson Morrow (1:20)

One trip, crazy. So I took the ferry from Provincetown to Boston. I flew from Boston to Detroit. I drove down from Detroit to Toledo where I grew up.

Brian Rubin-Sowers (1:35)

Yes.

Judson Morrow (1:36)

A couple reasons I decided to go.

Number one, the friend of mine who I've still been in touch with over the last 25 years kept feeding me stuff from the Facebook group about who was coming. So I was getting like, I'm not on Facebook. So it was just more and more exciting. I was like, oh, that person's coming, that person's coming. Also, let's be honest, because my mother and older brother and his family live in the town where I went to high school, it was very easy as a family trip. It's like, oh, I'll go see my family. I'll go to the high school reunion and then I'll come on home. Yeah. And I have this to say, five stars, wish I had more thumbs to give more than two thumbs up, would recommend.

Brian Rubin-Sowers (2:25)

It was your 25th high school reunion?

Judson Morrow (2:27)

Correct.

Brian Rubin-Sowers (2:27)

Oh, wow.

Judson Morrow (2:28)

It was incredible. It was incredible. Here's the thing.

Brian Rubin-Sowers (2:32)

OK.

Judson Morrow (2:33)

And this is like a very cool conversation that I got to have with people while I was there. Even my closest friends at the time didn't know, although our listeners do.

My home life in high school was less than desirable. Folks, there are plenty of folks who had it worse than I did. But given where I grew up geographically, given the political and religious affiliations from my parents, they really made me feel terrible about being a young gay person. Terrible, terrible.

Perhaps not their intent, but also there was a part of them that was trying to will it away. So for me, high school was a sanctuary. It was kind of a combination of what we talk about all the time, like best little boy. Like I had to prove myself good because I had done something bad. But moreover, it was just like an opportunity to be out of my home, to socialize. Like I had a part-time job, so I was making my own money. I was in theater, I was in show choir, I was in Spanish club, I was in ski club, which is a really random thing to have in a high school in Northwest Ohio, all of the things. And I felt like a bit of a chameleon in high school. Like I could kind of, to make it very gay, like neither a shark nor a jet, but welcome in both alleys. Yes. So to go back was really sweet because I got to have that conversation with people who really made it such a positive experience. Because on paper, it's very easy to be like, oh God, like teenager in Ohio in the 90s comes out of the closet. And the reality is, is like, yes, I had a bully my freshman year.

After he graduated, it was smooth sailing. And I think it might be easy from here, knowing what we know now, to be like, well, did these kids advocate for you? I'm sorry. In 1998, not being an asshole was like pretty good advocacy. Right, right. You know what I mean? So, just to catch up, like particularly and specifically the straight men, like I had such a nice time catching up with, especially because I was on the honors track. So, I was in classes with the same kids from sixth grade all the way through senior year. And like we were honors kids, so we were fucking nerds, obviously. But like we had each other's backs. And it was so nice to meet their spouses, their wives, they're all straight. It was nice to meet their spouses and see how they're doing and find out where they live. Like I just, I loved it. And anyone who is showing up to their 25th high school reunion, I realized that my situation is very, very distinct. I don't know if there are a ton of our listeners who are like, yeah, I'm excited to go to my reunion, given what it was like for our age group at that time. But I just, it made me feel really, really lucky and really, really fortunate. And as much as I love my husband, there is a 20-year age gap, there is a religious gap, there is a culture gap geographically.