Brian and Judson hookup with ‘Blue Film’ writer and director Elliot Tuttle and talk adolescent sexuality, slippery morality, what overindexing on queer joy does to taste levels, and Daddying vs fathering

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (0:11)
Hi, friends, welcome to Dads And Daddies, a podcast about the lives and times of adult gay men in the here and now. I'm Brian Rubin-Sowers, the dad.

**Judson Morrow** (0:18)
And I am Judson Morrow, the daddy.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (0:21)
Hi, Judson.

**Judson Morrow** (0:22)
What up, dude?

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (0:23)
I am so curious. You texted me and said that you had one of your top five gay New York City experiences.

**Judson Morrow** (0:33)
Top five gay New York City experiences. Not this week, not this month, not this year. I mean, the entire time that I have lived here.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (0:42)
That's insane. Tell us all about it.

**Judson Morrow** (0:44)
I would be delighted. I was a little anxious to share that with you because I knew that you knew we were going to our friend, DJ James Anthony's Unspeakable Joy.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (0:58)
Yes.

**Judson Morrow** (0:58)
And I didn't want to leave you out of the mix, but you were out of town and I also had to share.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (1:07)
Of course.

**Judson Morrow** (1:09)
Here's what happened.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (1:11)
I can have dance party compersion.

**Judson Morrow** (1:13)
Dance party compersion. Thank you. So I'm on the dance floor at $3 bill in Bushwick, Brooklyn. I've probably been at this party for like two or three hours. I'm having an amazing time.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (1:25)
That's long for you to stay at a party.

**Judson Morrow** (1:27)
I know. The energy is unmatched largely because, and our listeners have heard us say this, this winter was the worst fucking winter I can ever remember. And this day was like the first perfectly nice Saturday. Yes. So it's like the legs were out, the tits were out, everyone in their shorty shorts and their long shorts, because those are in too.
Their tank tops, their crop tops, like just the mood and the energy was absolutely perfect because by the end of the summer, you're kind of fucking exhausted.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (2:00)
Right.

**Judson Morrow** (2:01)
Like I dare you to go to a dance party in August and have it be this full tilt.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (2:06)
Right.

**Judson Morrow** (2:06)
There's no way.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (2:07)
Right.

**Judson Morrow** (2:07)
So at one particular moment, I'm on the dance floor and I'm dancing. And within arm's reach, I'm in the epicenter of my own life. There is my husband, my friends old and new, their friends old and new, someone who had just fangirled the pod, someone who I had just made out with, guys who I had fucked, guys who I wanted to fuck, and a guest of the podcast. Like all within my immediate circle, like just by accident. And I was like, oh my God, I want for nothing because it is all here at this moment.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (2:43)
Do you know what you were feeling?

**Judson Morrow** (2:45)
Hypomania.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (2:47)
Unspeakable Joy.

**Judson Morrow** (2:49)
Yes.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (2:49)
You were feeling unspeakable joy. This is what DJ James Anthony was hoping for.

**Judson Morrow** (2:55)
Honey, he nailed it because at this exact moment, when I'm in all the feels, oh, and also vivacious is just like on the stage doing fucking the crazy thing and the craziest outfit. And I was like, God, being gay is amazing.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (3:08)
Yes.

**Judson Morrow** (3:08)
At this exact moment, the DJ turns on Deborah Cox, Nobody's Supposed To Be Here. And if you are a gay from a certain era, that song fucking slaps.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (3:21)
Yeah.

**Judson Morrow** (3:22)
That is it. So I lost my whole gay mind. I ascended and I just walked out of the event like so, so, so, so happy.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (3:33)
Unspeakably joyous.

**Judson Morrow** (3:34)
Unspeakably joyful. Unspeakably joyous.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (3:37)
I mean, not that I need to remind our listeners, but you experienced all of this sober.

**Judson Morrow** (3:41)
Oh, 100%. Yeah. She's not on drugs anymore.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (3:45)
No, I know.

**Judson Morrow** (3:46)
And that was a piece that I thought about too. I was like, all that just like naturally. What a naturally wonderful hi.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (3:54)
I love that.

**Judson Morrow** (3:55)
Highly recommend Unspeakable Joy. It'll be happening throughout the summer.
I would even go so far as to say, if you have a plan to come to New York this summer, but do not have your dates nailed down.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (4:08)
Plan it around that?

**Judson Morrow** (4:09)
Plan it around Unspeakable Joy. It's so amazing.

**Brian Rubin-Sowers** (4:12)
If you haven't heard our episode with DJ James Anthony, go back and find it.