Breaking Down The Barstool Brawl

Tom Segura (0:04)

All right, new episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. Here we go.

Bert Kreischer (0:08)

Zolo, thank you.

Tom Segura (0:10)

Buddy, thank you so much. He's one of the good ones, you know?

Bert Kreischer (0:14)

He really is. You know, I gotta be honest with you. I slept on him for a very long time. I didn't know his name forever. I thought it was Zorro for a little bit.

Tom Segura (0:21)

Zorro?

Bert Kreischer (0:21)

Yeah, he used to do answer phones at YMH.

Tom Segura (0:24)

He did, he was our little cute kid. I think he was underage and he lied to work. He's one of those.

Bert Kreischer (0:30)

I remember Nadav. I was like, what's the guy at Front's name? And Nadav was like, fuck him.

You talked to me.

Tom Segura (0:36)

Yeah, yeah.

Bert Kreischer (0:37)

And I was like, ooh.

Tom Segura (0:38)

Well, they had a whole, like, you know, the Hasidic and the Orthodox communities have a battle.

Bert Kreischer (0:42)

Is he Jewish? Yeah.

Are you serious? Can I tell you a great Jewish joke I wrote that I can't tell on stage?

Tom Segura (0:49)

Yeah, no one will hear it. What is it?

Bert Kreischer (0:51)

I can't tell on stage. It didn't work, but it is very funny. But it didn't work on stage.

Sometimes it's like as a comic, you know you're not. You know your voice. And you can write a good joke, but it's like Tosh gave me a great joke one time. I had a joke about one day to black chick and he goes, oh, you should take this joke. He goes, it doesn't work for me. And the joke was I want to date a black chick just as long as she's never had sex with a black guy.

Tom Segura (1:16)

That's funny.

Bert Kreischer (1:16)

I tried it. It didn't work for me either.

Tom Segura (1:19)

It's nice of him to give you that one.

Bert Kreischer (1:22)

By the way, right now, Daniel Tosh is going, oh, thanks, man.

Tom Segura (1:26)

Wait, what's the one you tried?

Bert Kreischer (1:29)

Knowing what I know about Jewish people, I can't imagine there wasn't one Jew pushing his way to the front of the line of the Holocaust. Being like, we got here early. Where are these trains going? What number do you have? Mine's lower. I get in front.

Tom Segura (1:47)

A neurotic.

Bert Kreischer (1:48)

Yeah.

Tom Segura (1:49)

That's funny.

Bert Kreischer (1:49)

Well, yeah, I mean...

Tom Segura (1:50)

You never tried it or you did try it?

Bert Kreischer (1:52)

I tried it. It did not work so well.

Tom Segura (1:55)

No.

Bert Kreischer (1:56)

No, because I think right now anti-Semitism is getting clouded into the Israel-Palestine thing.

Tom Segura (2:02)

Yeah.

Bert Kreischer (2:03)

But you know what's funny is you can be Jewish and pro-Palestine.

Tom Segura (2:08)

Yeah. Yeah, no, for sure.

Wild.

Bert Kreischer (2:10)

You want a cigar?

Tom Segura (2:11)

Sure.

Bert Kreischer (2:12)

How are we gonna do this? Does it drive to like send it to...

Just throw it to you? These are great cigars.

Tom Segura (2:20)

Nice, man.

Bert Kreischer (2:21)

I got to give you a shout out to Altoona, Florida, the cigar hustlers. Name's Mike.

Tom Segura (2:25)

Oh, I thought this was Arabic written on the outside.

Bert Kreischer (2:27)

No, the Andalusian Bull. This is one of the hardest to get cigars out there.

Tom Segura (2:32)

Really?

Bert Kreischer (2:32)

It is. It is. By the way, I know that there are a lot of cigar guys going, talk about my cigar. And listen, this isn't from LFD. This is from Mike, the cigar hustler in Altoona, Florida.

Tom Segura (2:45)

Nice.

Bert Kreischer (2:45)

I stopped by their cigar shop one time, just driving down, it was during the Daytona 500

Tom Segura (2:55)

Is it made there?

Bert Kreischer (2:56)

No, no, no, no, no.

Tom Segura (2:56)

It's made in Spain?

Bert Kreischer (2:57)

No, this is not made in Spain. And so this cigar, this actual cigar, is one of the best cigars to get. This Andalusian Bull is one of the best cigars to get. La Florida Minnica.

Tom Segura (3:07)

Yeah.

Bert Kreischer (3:08)

And by the way, I just got a hit up from La Florida Minnica. They're going to send me a different package. But this guy, I stopped by his own family cigar shop. And I casually walked in and I was like, he goes, what are you looking for? His brother did. And I told him, I love the Andalusian Bull. And he goes, we don't have any.