🎙️ BONUS | Do Elderley People Make Love?

**SPEAKER_2** (0:05)
Hey, welcome to the Bonus Podcast.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:08)
Thank you.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:08)
It's our day in the Allen-Ducat household today. Oh, what happened?

**SPEAKER_1** (0:11)
Can I run you through it?

**SPEAKER_2** (0:12)
Yeah. My grandma. So she's got this... My grandma is 90... No, she's still kicking it. She's 92, I think. 92? Yeah, and she still lives at home.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:22)
Which side?

**SPEAKER_2** (0:23)
Mum's side.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:24)
She still lives at home?

**SPEAKER_2** (0:26)
Mum's dad died in his 70s, and my dad's dad died in his 50s. I'm like, oh, that doesn't look good for me either way.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:32)
Me too. I was all died young.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:34)
Dad's dad had a heart attack in his 50s. Anyway, that's not important.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:37)
I think I'm going to live to 100

**SPEAKER_2** (0:38)
I think you could. Anyway, my grandma, her dog, right?

**SPEAKER_1** (0:41)
She's got one of those little overgrown rats. Not if you keep drinking like you do.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:43)
Yeah, true. I'm trying to cut down.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:44)
I'm kidding.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:45)
And using the flogger.
So she's got this like overgrown dog, right? Sorry, this like overgrown rat dog, like a little yappy, you know, one of those ugly little teeth thing. It's called Benji. It's been alive for 16 years. So when my...

**SPEAKER_1** (1:00)
Pretty good, right, for a dog?

**SPEAKER_2** (1:01)
Yeah. When my grandma... Yeah, it's great. It's a great life. When my grandma's last partner died, because she sort of got another partner post granddad, she got this dog.

**SPEAKER_1** (1:11)
We'll circle back.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:11)
Yeah, well, you can. His name was Rick. He was... Yeah, he died actually just before my wedding. And, you know, it was good because it freed up a seat at my wedding.

**SPEAKER_1** (1:20)
You could have put grandma on your singles table.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:22)
Yeah, and we always wondered, I was always intrigued about if they had sex. Like 80 year olds dating. Well, I always wanted to know.

**SPEAKER_1** (1:30)
I reckon it'd be hard when you get older, because I noticed as you get, like your body doesn't work on you. And can you get an erection?

**SPEAKER_2** (1:34)
Like that's what... He must be packing heat to be...

**SPEAKER_1** (1:37)
I think they'd cuddle in bed.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:39)
Yeah, it'd be more like partners, right?

**SPEAKER_1** (1:42)
Because when you see him kiss, it's not like...
Yeah, it's like, mwah! You know what I mean?

**SPEAKER_2** (1:47)
Yes. He looked like the Sith in Star Wars. It's like he was decrepit.

**SPEAKER_1** (1:51)
The Sith Lord?

**SPEAKER_2** (1:52)
Yeah, the Sith Lord. Like he was decrepit.

**SPEAKER_1** (1:53)
Holy shit.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:54)
Yeah, he looked like he is...

**SPEAKER_1** (1:54)
He's still picking up.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:55)
Yeah, I know. You gotta hit it.

**SPEAKER_1** (1:56)
Your grandma's... And they weren't even in a retirement home.

**SPEAKER_2** (1:58)
Yeah, she does alright, old Merrill. Where'd they meet?

**SPEAKER_1** (2:01)
Yeah.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:01)
I actually can't remember.

**SPEAKER_1** (2:02)
I know, we're circling back to this.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:03)
I can't remember. And how long after... I don't know if this is personal. After her first husband...

**SPEAKER_1** (2:09)
Yeah, I think we've got personal enough already at this point.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:12)
How long after they died? He died in 9

**SPEAKER_1** (2:14)
And then when did she hook up with the next fella? Because I feel like that happens sometimes quickly.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:19)
Like 15, 2014?

**SPEAKER_1** (2:21)
Oh, so she gave it a bit of a...

**SPEAKER_2** (2:22)
Yeah, a couple of years. It was a morning for a bit. And I remember she had three daughters, so my mum and the aunties, and they found it weird at the time. But everyone got around it.

**SPEAKER_1** (2:29)
He came to like Christmases. You're not allowed to find it weird. You don't.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:32)
I'm a strong believer in that.
He came to Christmases and stuff. I'm going to text mum, how did Merrill...

**SPEAKER_1** (2:38)
Well, they get to look after him. I know we're deriding it, but the situations in my family over the years where some old coots hooked up with someone else and the family wouldn't talk to them, they're like, it's not your decision. No, exactly. It's because they're old, doesn't mean they lose their rights to have fun.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:54)
Have a partner. Have someone to do something with. It'd be boring by itself. A companion.

**SPEAKER_1** (2:57)
Actually ridiculous.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:58)
Yeah.
But anyway, circling back to... She's got the dog Benji, right? Benji's 16 Benji's been her companion since the loss of Rick with the ugly teeth. And Benji's a little yappy yapp. No one likes Benji in the family, but now Benji's blind and deaf, right? And Benji's starting to just shit and piss everywhere in the house.