Bolivia Rants

Tony Santore (0:00)

This whole hotel is a biohazard. Welcome to the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't Podcast. We're coming to you from Miami. We're in a Motel 6 in Miami. Beautiful Cutler Bay.

And the whole hotel is a fucking biohazard. The whole, I feel, when I was walking out of here, it's Sunday morning, when I was walking out of here today, I felt like I'd been sucking dick for, you know, like $20 or something behind the dumpster. I felt debased. Would you say that, how did you feel when you walked out today? You saw the sable palm with the, I'm here with my friend, Lillie.

Lily (0:32)

It's more of the fragrance that assaults my senses.

Tony Santore (0:35)

Mildew and dog shit when we were walking back up the steps.

Lily (0:38)

And urine, and stale cigarette smoke.

Tony Santore (0:41)

Yeah. It's pretty rough. Looks like some dude just straight up came on the wall.

It's fucking heinous. This is one of the nastiest motels. Prior to this, the nastiest motel I had stayed in, for a botany podcast, this is getting pretty raunchy, I apologize. The nastiest motel I had stayed in was in November 2012 in Bakersfield.

It was, and up to then, I think that was the filthiest. We ended up not even staying there. My friends I was with, we were like four of us, we were just going to sleep on the floor, and there was only one bed in there. Two on the floor, two on a bed. We said, no, we can't even do this. And then we had to, and this beats that.

Lily (1:25)

They don't do blankets anymore, just sheets.

Tony Santore (1:27)

But we didn't have to share a bed, which was nice of you, because I kicked you last time we had to do that. Anyway, okay, so we just got back from Bolivia. Where should we start, Lily?

Lily (1:40)

I don't know, I guess the first day. The first day was epic.

Tony Santore (1:44)

Yeah, I figured it was better for both of us to come on here, because in case there's shit I forget, and also because we got a few hours to kill anyway.

But we flew into Santa Cruz de la Sierra, which is in the lowlands. I don't know what the elevation is, like 500 feet. It's hot, humid, green. If you look at a satellite map, you could see all the full thrust belts are directly to the west where the mountains start. So we're in the lowlands on the east side of the Andes. We get more rainfall, all that rainfall coming off the Amazon and the ocean. Then as that rainfall moves west, it hits the Andes, it gets squeezed out like a dry sponge. It ascends, and then you get into the Inter-Andean Valleys, which is the specific name for that ecosystem, which is all the cool, like these belts of dry valleys with ridges in between, north-south trending ridges. And in those valleys, you get into all the, start getting into all the cool shit, cool columnar cacti, et cetera, et cetera. Then you keep going up till you get to the Altiplano, where we got hypoxic, and even the coca leaves could no longer help us. What are you looking at right now?

Lily (2:55)

My eye net.

Tony Santore (2:56)

Oh, okay. First, okay.

Lily (2:58)

What?

Tony Santore (2:59)

I wanted to make sure you weren't checking your email or something. I don't know what he's ranting about.

Lily (3:06)

I was thinking about the plants we saw that first day.

Tony Santore (3:08)

He's going up. See, that's what I would be doing, because my ADD is so bad.

Lily (3:12)

I know.

Tony Santore (3:13)

I know.

I need to be medicated. I'm not taking my meds. So, and then you go up to the Altiplano and that was insane. How did you feel in the Altiplano, Lily? How did you feel at 14,000 feet?

Lily (3:28)

There were a lot of feelings.

Yeah, I did. I think the description of being on cough syrup is pretty accurate. You feel dissociated, euphoric, in a slightly dangerous and frightening way, where you're like, I might make a really bad decision and I'm okay if I die right now. So for me, that was the feeling of I'm okay if I die right now. It's not that big of a deal, was what was a little scary.

Tony Santore (3:52)

I didn't feel, well, I kind of feel that a little bit all the time.

Lily (3:56)

So what if I fall down this deep cliff?

Tony Santore (3:57)

But I think that's what scares me, is because you could do stupid shit when you're, not because it's like being, like when you haven't slept well, and your head's not there, you know?