Boebert Speaks Out About Sexual Allegations w/ Staff Members

Hammer (0:00)

Can we talk about Lauren Boebert possibly making out with chicks?

Nigel (0:03)

Please!

Hammer (0:04)

Colorado Congresswoman Lauren Boebert, she's a flame thrower.

She's facing allegations. She had sexual relationships with her staffers, both men and women. Now, these staffers are not saying that it was forced. Nobody's really saying anything, but there's no allegations that this was some sort of assault or this was some sort of rape or anything like that. Sounds like, if this is true, everything was consensual. Lauren Boebert's like, hold up now, it might not be true, and I want you to consider the source.

Lauren Boebert (0:41)

Hey, journalists, now that I'm finished with my more important task of the day, I have a few words for you.

You all ran a smear and called it news. Some sloppy, desperate, obsessive hack stamps under oath on a fake filing, so you'll write Penalty of Perjury in the headline. Yeah, that's the whole freaking trick. It's a scam, and you fell for it. No member of Congress certified in writing that his salacious BS attack was made in good faith and warrants review as required by ethics, and it's evident that you didn't even bother to look up House Ethics Committee rules that clearly state the committee can't even accept a complaint filed inside 60 days of an election.

That's right. Ethics isn't even allowed to accept this garbage. Yet all of you were more than willing to. Nobody in your newsroom checked the rule book before they put my team's names in your stories. Their photos are everywhere now, and they are under attack because of your laziness.

Hammer (1:44)

OK, so she's fired up. She's like, hey, check your sources here.

Nigel (1:49)

Is she denying it?

Hammer (1:51)

I did not hear a denial.

I heard a lot of things there, but I did not hear a denial. Now, maybe her saying it's not a credible source is the denial. But you would think we'd get that Bill Clinton moment. I did not have sexual relations.

Nigel (2:10)

Well, we all know what happened with that.

Hammer (2:12)

He totally had sexual relations. Thank you. Here's a little bit more.

And I want you to listen to the end of this. Okay, Nigel, because this has been like the running joke on Twitter all weekend. Listen to the end of Lauren Boebert's rant.

Lauren Boebert (2:28)

You are all aware that this is coming from the same desperate hack CNN caught in 2022, publishing a photo of another woman as me and also failing to prove a host of other lies that he's created about me. You ran the story anyway. This is more filthy garbage that reaches beyond me. This reaches into the homes of people who have dedicated years of service to Coloradans alongside of me. I know that you're more than willing to attack me and shame my household, but this is different and you crossed a line. I hope you think about the impact that this could have on them and their families, the next time you rush to print without doing a little bit of research.

So, while you sit back and think of how you can do your jobs better, I'm going to continue serving Colorado's 4th district. I hate to spoil the fan fiction, but y'all need to do better. And to the people who have had my back, thank you. And I hope you see how desperate these fools are to get me out of office.

And I gotta say just one more thing before I sign off here.

To the rest of y'all, no, I'm not hiring.

Hammer (3:41)

Lauren Boebert, saying, no, I'm not hiring.

Nigel (3:45)

Isn't that the running joke after everybody thought that she was having sex with her underlings? Ah, where's my application?

Hammer (3:53)

Is she hiring? Wank, wank, wank.

No, I'm not hiring. But wow, here's the question.

Nigel (4:00)

What do you think?

Hammer (4:01)

Here's my issue.

If this was all consensual sex, I don't care. I didn't care if Bill Clinton had consensual sex. I wouldn't care if AOC was banging the interns. I wouldn't care if it's all consensual. Just do your job. Now, the minute it starts crossing over into this was forced, this was against my wishes, you're getting into creepy Eric Swalwell territory, that's different.

Nigel (4:27)

Well, also, you're in a position of power and you have people under you.

Hammer (4:31)

I know. And technically, it's frowned upon. I get that.

Nigel (4:36)

Technically, it is.

Hammer (4:37)

But if a politician is voting the way that I want and they're doing what I elected them to do, if they want to ride the intern, I don't care.