Bobby Is Distressed

**Andrew Santino** (0:01)
Who are these two idiots?

**SPEAKER_2** (0:03)
What dude?

**Carlos** (0:04)
I'm an Asian dude.

**Carlos** (0:06)
You two are disgusting.

**Andrés** (0:10)
We're bad friends.

**Bobby Lee** (0:12)
Oh my God. How long was I in the bathroom when we, at the restaurant?

**Andrés** (0:16)
So long.

**Bobby Lee** (0:17)
20 minutes at the restaurant. The moment I took my last bite, I was like, mm.

**Bobby Lee** (0:22)
Yeah.

**Bobby Lee** (0:22)
I had to go immediately.
That was Bad News Bears. I should have wrote that girl and been like, not a good recommendation.

**Bobby Lee** (0:28)
Yeah.

**Bobby Lee** (0:28)
My stomach, the moment I finished my eggs, I was like, hmm. I think this is, I think this is bad.

**Bobby Lee** (0:36)
Are you being real?

**Bobby Lee** (0:37)
We both.

**Bobby Lee** (0:37)
Yeah, yeah.

**Bobby Lee** (0:38)
It was pretty tough.

**Bobby Lee** (0:38)
That was at that restaurant.

**Andrés** (0:39)
Mine was prolonged.

**Bobby Lee** (0:41)
His was an hour later.

**Bobby Lee** (0:42)
Yeah. Was yours loose or did you have to?

**Bobby Lee** (0:45)
Dude.

**Bobby Lee** (0:46)
I want to know the consistency.

**Bobby Lee** (0:49)
You ever been to Niagara Falls?

**Bobby Lee** (0:51)
Now again.

**Bobby Lee** (0:51)
Identical.

**Bobby Lee** (0:52)
I understand.

**Bobby Lee** (0:52)
Identical.

**Bobby Lee** (0:53)
I understand.

**Andrew Santino** (0:53)
Yeah.

**Bobby Lee** (0:54)
I do Pompeii.

**Andrew Santino** (0:56)
Yeah, yeah.

**Bobby Lee** (0:56)
Mine are Pompeii, but you do a Niagara Falls. Niagara. Yeah. Mine's an explosion.

**Bobby Lee** (1:00)
Dude, that reminds me.

**Bobby Lee** (1:01)
Well, let me just do one. I want to add on to the poop.

**Bobby Lee** (1:03)
Go. Yeah. More poop stuff.

**Bobby Lee** (1:04)
Yeah, yeah. So last night, I'm having dinner with my friend, Jean.

**Bobby Lee** (1:08)
Hong.

**Bobby Lee** (1:09)
And Andrea Jin hangs out.

**Bobby Lee** (1:11)
Jin.

**Bobby Lee** (1:11)
Yeah. And we're sitting there. We're eating at a nice Korean barbecue, right? And she's sort of like repositioning.

**Bobby Lee** (1:19)
Shifting.

**Andrés** (1:20)
She's shifting. Shit shifting.

**Bobby Lee** (1:22)
She is like tectonic plates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the world is doing.

**Bobby Lee** (1:27)
And by the way, it's gonna break eventually.

**Bobby Lee** (1:29)
Yeah, exactly.

**Bobby Lee** (1:30)
Those plates keep touching each other.

**Bobby Lee** (1:31)
There's also like icebergs detaching from, you know, there's some stuff going on here. But anyway, let's get back to... I'm an environmentalist.

**Bobby Lee** (1:42)
I like it.

**Bobby Lee** (1:42)
But like, I really am.

**Bobby Lee** (1:44)
You are.

**Bobby Lee** (1:44)
I mean, Super El Nino, the whole thing. All right. Anyway, things are shifting. But my point is this, because she's shifting in her chair and I go, you got, and she's like, I do. I go, well, they have a bathroom here. And she goes, I don't do public bathrooms.

**Bobby Lee** (1:59)
Oh, I know that. Yeah.

**Bobby Lee** (2:00)
And I go, you live pretty far away. She's like, I know. I just, I'm fine. I go, no, I can tell when people are shifting.

**Bobby Lee** (2:07)
You can tell a shit shift.

**Bobby Lee** (2:08)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, you have eight minutes. It's gonna break away.

**Bobby Lee** (2:13)
You see the doomsday clock?

**Bobby Lee** (2:14)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, you're right. She just gets up, gets in her car. And then when she texts me later, she goes, I was right on time.
And I knew the shifts.
You know what I mean? I know about environmental shifts. I also know about shit shifts.

**Bobby Lee** (2:28)
Eight minutes.

**Bobby Lee** (2:29)
Yeah, eight minutes. She got raced home. You've been there.

**Bobby Lee** (2:33)
Oh my God.

**Bobby Lee** (2:34)
The timing is like, if it was a second, you know what I mean? Later, it would have been a disaster.

**Bobby Lee** (2:39)
Yes.

**Bobby Lee** (2:39)
Yeah.

**Bobby Lee** (2:40)
Chernobyl.

**Bobby Lee** (2:41)
Chernobyl.

**Bobby Lee** (2:42)
It would have been the end of the end of the end. I did that on the way from the airport. I threw up in my front yard. I got all the way to the house, got out of my car.
And my dog came out.

**Bobby Lee** (2:52)
Yeah. They're confused about it.

**Bobby Lee** (2:54)
They have no idea why you throw up. When you throw up in front of a dog, they do like this.

**Bobby Lee** (2:58)
Yeah. Why do people leave Chernobyl?

**Bobby Lee** (3:01)
Yeah. They shouldn't have taken off?

**Bobby Lee** (3:03)
I'm just saying-

**Bobby Lee** (3:04)
Stick around.

**Bobby Lee** (3:05)
No, what I'm saying is I saw the Chernobyl HBO show. That was a great show, right? But what I'm saying is there's a wildlife there.