Big P vs. Little P Purpose: Why You Don't Need to Find Your One True Calling

**Brett McKay** (0:00)
Summer is winding down, and at our house, that means life is about to get a whole lot busier. School starts in a few weeks, the kids' sports are ramping back up, evening is getting packed with activities, and suddenly it's a lot harder to stay on top of eating well. That's one reason I keep factory meals in the fridge. Factory makes chef-crafted, dietitian-designed, ready-to-eat meals so I don't have to choose between real food and convenience. On those nights when we're running from one thing to the next, I can have a quality meal ready in about two minutes instead of grabbing fast food or skipping a meal altogether. And every week there are more than 100 nutrient-dense menu items to choose from so you don't get bored eating the same thing over and over. I use factor. I think you'll like it too. Let's eat real. Head to factormeals.com/manliness50off and use code manliness50off to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until October 31st, 2026 Again, that's factormeals.com/manliness50off. That's spelled M-A-N-L-I-N-E-S-S-5-0-O-F-F.
And then use code manliness50off to get that great deal. factormeals.com/manliness50off, code manliness50off. See website for more details. I know a lot of people listening have thought about starting a business. Maybe you've got a product idea, maybe you've got something on the side, or maybe you've always wanted to launch a brand but just haven't gotten around to it. One of the biggest reasons people never start is they think the technical side is going to be complicated. That's where Shopify comes in. We use Shopify to power the art of manliness store, and one thing I appreciate is that it takes care of all the behind-the-scenes stuff so you can focus on building your business. I'm talking about things like inventory management, shipping and fulfillment. It's all there and it's very, very easy to use. And when your first customer is ready to buy, Shopify checkout makes it easy for them to complete their purchase. And when they come back, their information is already saved, so checking out is even faster. There's a reason Shopify powers millions of businesses around the world. It gives you the tools to grow without having to spend all your time worrying about your online store. With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and a real business, so go out there and make your business a reality.
Start your free trial at shopify.com/manliness. That's shopify.com/manliness. One more time, shopify.com/manliness.
Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the AOM Podcast, which since 2008 has featured conversations with the world's best authors, thinkers, and leaders that glean their edifying, life-improving insights without the fluff and filler. The AOM Podcast is just one part of the McKay mission to help individuals practice timeless virtues through thought, word, and deed. Also, be sure to explore our articles in artofmanliness.com, read the deeper dives we do in our sub-stack newsletter at dyingbreed.net, and turn our content into real-world action by joining the Strenuous Life program at strenuouslife.com. Now on to the show.
People are told their whole lives how important it is to find their purpose, but many find the search frustrating. They feel there's one true calling or one grand goal they're supposed to be pursuing, but they can't seem to discern what it is. My guest, Jordan Grumet, author of The Purpose Code, says that the search for what he calls Big Pea Purpose can be fruitless and even harmful, and that a better path is to embrace the life of little pea purposes. Today in the show, Jordan explains the difference between Big Pea and Little Pea Purposes, and argues that the former can lead to anxiety, while embracing the latter can be the path to meaning, satisfaction, connection, and even the legacy you're looking for in the first place. We discuss how Jordan found his way to this philosophy after burning out as a doctor, practical ways to discover your own little pea purposes, what he thinks we get wrong in making family our purpose, and what his work in hospice has taught about living a life without regret. After the show is over, check out our show notes at aom.is slash purpose code.
All right, Jordan Grumet, welcome to the show.

**Jordan Grumet** (3:57)
Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited for the conversation.

**Brett McKay** (3:59)
You've got an interesting background. You started your career off as a doctor, but now you spend your time writing about money, finances, purpose, and meaning. How does a doctor end up being a personal finance and purpose writer?

**Jordan Grumet** (4:16)
The story actually begins when I was seven years old. My father was a physician. I looked up to him quite a bit. He went to work one morning, got a severe headache, collapsed and died. He had a brain aneurysm. Being a seven-year-old, I thought everything in the world happened because of me, so he must have died because I wasn't enough, wasn't smart enough, lovable enough, whatever it may be.