Bad Kitty

**Lisa Bueno** (0:00)
Okay, our friends, so today we're ready for a silly story.

**Lisa Bueno** (0:08)
We've done some serious ones recently, and I think it's time for a giggle. Who's ready?

**SPEAKER_3** (0:13)
Giggle.

**Lisa Bueno** (0:14)
Giggle.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:15)
Today's story is called Bad Kitty.

**Lisa Bueno** (0:18)
It was written by Nick Bruhl, and it's read today by Mommy and Ma.

**SPEAKER_6** (0:25)
A kitty cat. Are you Beans?

**SPEAKER_3** (0:30)
Are you Floof?

**SPEAKER_6** (0:33)
Are you Captain Meow-Meow?

**SPEAKER_3** (0:35)
Oh, okay.

**SPEAKER_6** (0:36)
Today's story is read by Mommy and Captain Meow-Meow, and someone else.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:46)
A cat.

**SPEAKER_6** (0:48)
Do you have a name, cat?

**SPEAKER_5** (0:50)
Oh, and Grumpy the Cat.

**Lisa Bueno** (0:52)
Oh.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:54)
Oh, a grumpy cat.

**Lisa Bueno** (0:57)
Let's read a story together, and maybe we can find something to be happy about. What do you say?
Here we go. So when we open the book, we can see it looks like a cat has dumped over some flowers from their pot and splattered them on the ground and then put her paws in the dirt from the pot and then left little tracks all over the house. They've also scratched up the couch and the lamp and chewed on it and just destroyed everything.
Dreadful. But it says, she wasn't always a bad kitty. She used to be a good kitty. We can see the kitty, black kitty, all cuddled up sweetly and nicely until one day.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:53)
Oh dear, we're all out of food for the kitty.

**SPEAKER_8** (1:56)
All we have are some healthy and delicious asparagus, beets, cauliflower, dill.

**Lisa Bueno** (2:08)
The cat has made a horrifying face and says, Eww.

**SPEAKER_8** (2:15)
Eggplants, fennel, garlic, horseradish.

**Lisa Bueno** (2:21)
The cat has made another horrified face.

**SPEAKER_8** (2:25)
Eww. Iceberg lettuce, jalapenos, kidney beans, leeks.

**Lisa Bueno** (2:33)
These are all vegetables, right? The cat is making another face with her tongue sticking out.

**SPEAKER_9** (2:42)
Mushrooms, navy beans, onions, parsnips.

**Lisa Bueno** (2:48)
The kitty has decided to just cover her face and go, oh no, because yuck, right?

**SPEAKER_8** (2:56)
Squashes, radishes, spinach, tomatoes.

**Lisa Bueno** (3:01)
Oh, poor kitty has just flopped over.

**SPEAKER_8** (3:05)
Rhubarb, vegetable stew, watercress.

**Lisa Bueno** (3:09)
Cigua, which is another way of saying, I guess, watermelon, right?

**SPEAKER_10** (3:14)
I love watermelon.

**Lisa Bueno** (3:16)
The cat does not. She says, yuck.

**SPEAKER_8** (3:20)
Yams and zucchini.

**Lisa Bueno** (3:24)
That's her owner, right? Her caretaker who has all these wonderful vegetables for her, but Kitty was not happy.

**SPEAKER_5** (3:33)
No, not happy at all.

**Lisa Bueno** (3:36)
And that's when she decided she would be a Bad Kitty, but not just any Bad Kitty, a very, very bad, bad, bad Kitty.
She ate my homework, bit Grandma, oh dear, clawed the curtains, damaged the dishes, endangered the goldfish, flooded the bathroom, grappled with guests, hurled hairballs at our heads. We can see her doing that. Irritated the baby, jumped on the bed, knocked over the lamp, loitered, especially in front of a sign that says no loitering. Was mean to my mommy, was nasty to Dad's neckties, overturned her cat box, plotted against us, quarreled with our neighbors, threw into the rug, sold my toys, tormented a little mouse, untied my shoes, was violent with the vet, wrote on the walls, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, it says, examined my diary, oh no, don't read that, yowled all night and zeroed the zinnias. Zinnias are a type of flower.

**SPEAKER_3** (5:06)
What a Bad Kitty. What a very, very bad, bad, bad Kitty.

**SPEAKER_8** (5:13)
But then, I'm back from the grocery store.

**SPEAKER_4** (5:16)
Look at all the good food I bought for Kitty.

**SPEAKER_8** (5:20)
We have an assortment of anchovies, buffalo burritos, chicken cheesecake, a donkey named Dave.

**Lisa Bueno** (5:31)
Oh, those are all meats.

**SPEAKER_8** (5:33)
The cat smiles and says, elephant eggs, fried flies, goose goulash, hippo hamburgers. The cat says, insect ice cream, jellyfish jelly, kangaroo kidney pie, lizard lasagna.

**Lisa Bueno** (5:55)
Yippee!

**SPEAKER_8** (5:57)
Says Kitty.

**SPEAKER_9** (5:59)
Moose alimode.

**Lisa Bueno** (6:01)
What does that mean? Do you know what alimode means? It means served with ice cream on top.

**SPEAKER_9** (6:07)
Nightingale nuggets, an order of possum, penguin pizza.

**SPEAKER_10** (6:15)
Oh, yes!

**Lisa Bueno** (6:17)
Says Kitty.

**SPEAKER_4** (6:18)
Quail quiche, rhino ravioli, shark sushi, turtle turnovers.

**Lisa Bueno** (6:26)
Yum!

**Lisa Bueno** (6:28)
Says Kitty.

**SPEAKER_9** (6:29)
Uncle Murray?

**SPEAKER_4** (6:31)
Who?

**SPEAKER_7** (6:32)
A variety of vultures, whale waffles, and excess of Tyrannosaurus rex.

**Lisa Bueno** (6:41)
What?

**SPEAKER_7** (6:43)
Yak yogurt and baked zebra ziti.

**Lisa Bueno** (6:47)
Wow, that's a lot of meat.