Awkward Phases & Wonder Years with Danica McKellar

Penn Holderness (0:00)

Who did you have a crush on when you were growing up?

Danica McKellar (0:02)

Michael J. Fox.

Penn Holderness (0:02)

That was quick.

Kim Holderness (0:03)

Kids don't have awkward faces anymore.

Penn Holderness (0:06)

I'm holding my cat in an oversized sweater, and if you zoom in, I have some lettuce in my braces.

Danica McKellar (0:13)

I always leave a message saying the phone number twice, even though my number shows up. Hi, this is Danica McKellar. I'm calling to check in on da-da-da. My number is blah-blah, just in case they didn't get a chance to write down the first time.

Kim Holderness (0:23)

As if they're writing it down. Hey, everybody, I'm Kim Holderness.

Penn Holderness (0:41)

And I'm Penn Holderness. Welcome to Laugh Lines.

Kim Holderness (0:44)

If you say, I'm going to tape something when you record something on your TV, you are home.

Penn Holderness (0:50)

You're home. I still say that. Yes. It's ridiculous. There is no tape.

Kim Holderness (0:54)

There's no tape. And I also say, I'm going to hang up. And like, I use this motion, like, hang up when really...

I mean, I don't know another way to say, like, I'm going to hang up on the phone. Friends, we're recording this on Penn's birthday. Happy birthday, babe.

Penn Holderness (1:12)

Thank you so much. I am a full deck of cards.

Kim Holderness (1:15)

You are a full deck of cards.

Penn Holderness (1:17)

I'm 52 So, yep. You know how they say you're not playing with a full deck? So maybe, like, this will finally be sane.

Sam Allen (1:24)

Wouldn't that be nice?

Kim Holderness (1:25)

The best was I went to the store yesterday and got some Mylar balloons and a helium tank because I just love to put up balloons on birthdays for my family. And Penn's really into space.

So I got him rocket ship balloons and star balloons.

Penn Holderness (1:40)

You also bought this, like, big tank that you use to inflate all of the balloons. So I didn't really know what was going on. And all of a sudden, like, this, not only was it a pretty big rocket, but it was like a special boys rocket.

Kim Holderness (1:51)

So the checkout lady goes, Oh, is this for your son? How old is he? I was like, it's for my husband. He likes spaceships. He's 5'2.

Also, I wrote, like, I take a lot of time crafting your birthday posts on the internets.

Penn Holderness (2:15)

You've been incredibly thoughtful. Like, I was just going to kind of skip this this day. Like, it's 52 It's like, you know, 50 is a big one, maybe 55 But like 52 is just kind of in between. So you've done a great job making me feel special with my my special little big boy rocket balloons and like everything else.

And you always put the nicest notes.

Kim Holderness (2:35)

Well, except for I was trying to write like things you wouldn't know about Penn. You see them on the Internet, but things you may not know. And one of the fun facts is, yes, we won the Amazing Race.

But I think the race you are most proud of completing is the beer mile in which you did it in six minutes and 45 seconds.

Penn Holderness (2:57)

I was very proud of that.

Kim Holderness (2:58)

Okay. And the beer mouth for the record is like you run 400 meters, you chug a beer, you run 400 meters, chug a beer. So you do this and into chug and you run. So 645 is?

Penn Holderness (3:10)

It was, I couldn't believe I did it. It was a sanctioned beer mile event. You can look it up online.

Kim Holderness (3:16)

So my issue is, and this is how you know we don't use AI. I wrote instead of beer mile, I wrote bear mile, like he completed the bear mile and that stayed up for about an hour before we got enough comments and noticed it and fixed it. But I was like, you know what though?

For your birthday, we could do a bear mile.

Penn Holderness (3:35)

That sounds terrible. Like what, like what is, is you just like bear crawl? Oh, awful.

Kim Holderness (3:40)

And eat and Sam?

Sam Allen (3:42)

Yeah, my idea was like instead of a beer every 400 meters, it's salmon, raw salmon.

Penn Holderness (3:49)

Well, I like that.

Sam Allen (3:50)

But then like for you, it could just be sushi.

Penn Holderness (3:52)

OK, so I eat some raw salmon. And then you swim through like a glacier. Do you swim through a very cold?