Are We Trapped In This Podcast Forever? w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano

Chris Distefano (0:24)

100% 100% it is. That's why I have a show there. Go to Christie. Check out my site. But dude, it just feels good to be a bear in the summer. You don't want to be doing this in the winter.

Stavros Halkias (0:33)

No, that's hibernation.

Chris Distefano (0:34)

Dude, we're by the river. We're eating salmon.

Stavros Halkias (0:37)

You were just eating salmon locks.

Chris Distefano (0:39)

Dude, that's what we're doing. We're bears. We're eating salmon. And we threw in a couple of croissants because we're different kinds of bears.

Stavros Halkias (0:45)

You are sabotaging us here, right? Because you, shout out to Benson Spoon, Josh in the booth.

You did a classic fat guy move. And even though you're not, we've talked about it, you're wearing your true classic t-shirt that hides your tits and your belly. But you're not, you're not, you still have a Fat Man's soul, as we've covered, a Fat Man's cholesterol levels. You order egg whites with spinach on whole wheat toast.

Chris Distefano (1:13)

Yes.

Stavros Halkias (1:14)

And then you say, and hey Josh, give us a couple surprises. For the classic Fat Guy move, that's basically like, order me sauces, order me a dessert, get me a chocolate milk. You're basically like, I can't, I don't want to take responsibility for this, I'm laundering.

Chris Distefano (1:31)

Right.

Stavros Halkias (1:32)

I want a treat, I'm a little slut.

Chris Distefano (1:33)

Right.

Stavros Halkias (1:33)

But I'm laundering the respo- I'm passing the moral responsibility on to you. You basically, it was, you did a tariff on Josh. Yes, when the costs are coming on him, you get the money, but he has to pay the cost. Yeah, well, the fat boy costs.

Chris Distefano (1:46)

Also, I just want to give a quick shout out, where this is, you know, like, I literally, I said to Josh, give me surprise, surprise, you know I'm a little surprise boy.

Stavros Halkias (1:54)

Yeah.

Chris Distefano (1:55)

That's what I said. Because last time we came and did the show, Josh had surprised us with artisanal, beautiful donuts. They were some of the creamiest, best donuts that I've ever had in my life. And now today's surprise, surprise, we're two half-eaten croissants and no straws for our iced coffee.

Stavros Halkias (2:12)

Wow.

Chris Distefano (2:12)

You're a fucking diva. We abstaining my teeth now because Josh didn't get straws and he got me shitty croissants from a deli that somebody was doing fentanyl outside of. What the hell happened last week?

Stavros Halkias (2:23)

Why do you say give me a fucking donut? You know what I mean?

Chris Distefano (2:26)

Because I'm a little surprise boy. And I just, I didn't want to come out and say it because I'm trying to tell my family that I'm in shape.

Stavros Halkias (2:34)

Oh, so you wanted to come home and be like, look, I ordered, you wanted to show, you were going to delete the surprise boy text. And you were going to be like, Jasmine, look, I asked for spinach.

Chris Distefano (2:44)

Yeah, because Jazz every, because you know, ever since you always said my cholesterol was 300, which by the way, this is a 300, Two Bears episode. So I feel like I got my cholesterol to this level just for the show. Yeah, but she always is on me now. Like, hey, what are you eating? Like when I was just on the road, she's like, show me what, like it used to be send me a picture of your empty room so I know no bitches are in there. Now it's show me a picture of what you're eating so I know you're not going to drop dead when we're just moving into this new house, they're inevitably going to sell next year.

Stavros Halkias (3:11)

Yes, yes, yes. Show me the trash can in your Hilton Garden Inn.

Chris Distefano (3:16)

Yeah.

Stavros Halkias (3:16)

I don't want to see combos in there. I don't want to see chocolate covered pretzels. I don't want to see KFC snackers. Right.

Chris Distefano (3:22)

Yeah, by the way, not Hilton, I'm Marriott Bonvoy Rewards member.

Stavros Halkias (3:25)

You're a Marriott Bonvoy guy.

Chris Distefano (3:27)

So you can put that at.

Stavros Halkias (3:29)

Okay.

Chris Distefano (3:29)

Yeah. When I have one sip left, I hope you do one of your backflips off stage and break your neck.

Stavros Halkias (3:39)

This beautiful straw just for Chris.

Chris Distefano (3:45)

Please! On your roller blades.

Stavros Halkias (3:57)

Oh, man.

Chris Distefano (3:58)

Interesting. Stavvy's, that's a big boy shirt. If you can't see, this is off camera, but Stavvy's drawing the shirt that he was wearing on the radiator.