A.I. BEAU BAYH

Hammer (0:00)

I can't stop laughing at these Beau Bayh ads.

Nigel (0:04)

All right.

Hammer (0:05)

Beau Bayh is running for Secretary of State as the Democrat. You know, he's got the name recognition, he's got the family.

Nigel (0:12)

He's dreamy.

Hammer (0:13)

He's a good looking kid. But these ads are just banking on people not knowing what the Secretary of State can do. These commercials, he's talking about lowering taxes and all these other things.

But here's the thing, that's not what the Secretary of State one does or even can do. So he's banking on the uneducated voter, which let's be honest, there's a lot of them to rush out to the polls. Well, I did see that good looking guy lifting weights the other day, and he said he's going to lower my taxes.

Nigel (0:50)

Oh man, was he shooting a gun in that commercial? Well, hot damn, he must be a conservative. I'm voting for him.

Hammer (0:58)

Right.

Nigel (0:58)

He's got guns in his hands.

Hammer (1:01)

His party hates guns.

Nigel (1:03)

I know they can't stand guns. No question about it.

Hammer (1:07)

So what we've decided to do here at the Hammer and Nigel Show, since clearly nobody else wants to call out Beau Bayh on the crap that he can't do as a, you know, leader of the Secretary of State's office in Indiana.

Here with some more bull crap is AI. Beau Bayh.

SPEAKER_3 (1:27)

Hello, I'm AI. Beau Bayh, and I am hoping you are too stupid to know what the hell the Secretary of State does. That's key. I can't lower taxes like at all. I don't have the power, but since I am rolling, here's more things I'll say I can do, but totally can't. Okay. I'll bring back Ponderosa Steakhouse. You fatties like that, don't you?

I'll also order Blockbuster Video to reopen and I'll fire missiles at Mexico.

Oh, I'll also fire Chris Ballard. I mean, if you morons believe I can do it, it's not even a lie.

Nigel (2:01)

AI.

SPEAKER_3 (2:02)

Beau Bayh out.

Hammer (2:05)

If you morons believe I can do it, it's not even a lie. AI. Beau Bayh out.

Nigel (2:12)

I think Ponderosa is my favorite part there. He's bringing back Ponderosa.

Hammer (2:18)

He's going to fire Chris Ballard. And apparently we're bombing Mexico now.

That's AI. Beau Bayh promising a bunch more crap that the Secretary of State's office is not allowed to do.

Nigel (2:33)

I love that. I am AI. Beau Bayh.

SPEAKER_3 (2:35)

I am AI. Beau Bayh.