A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to School...

**Lisa Bueno** (0:00)
Okay, our friends, so the summer time is just about gone, and we are headed back to school. And for some of you, that means that you're going to a brand new school.

**Mommy** (0:17)
For some of you, you're going back to a school you know already. For some of you, you might be homeschooled.

**SPEAKER_3** (0:23)
Who knows?

**Lisa Bueno** (0:24)
But my friends, there are some things you may need to think about before you go to school. And one of those things might be funny stuff.
Anybody interested in funny stuff?

**Mommy** (0:39)
I am.

**Lisa Bueno** (0:40)
Let's read today's story. It's called A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To School.
And this story was written by David Cully and Benjamin Schaud. And it is read today by Mommy and...

**Philip** (0:58)
Philip. Philip.

**Lisa Bueno** (1:00)
Are you ready, bud?

**Mommy** (1:01)
Let's do it. So we see a boy and we see his teacher.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:07)
And she says, so, why were you late this morning?

**Mommy** (1:14)
And he says, well, it's a long story. First, some giant ants stole my breakfast.

**Lisa Bueno** (1:26)
And in the picture, sure enough, there are giant ants all over his kitchen.

**Mommy** (1:31)
So I went to borrow bread from the neighbors next door. And that wasn't exactly a good idea.

**Lisa Bueno** (1:39)
Because why?

**Philip** (1:42)
The neighbor was holding out a toy cutlass and is firing an actual cannon.

**Lisa Bueno** (1:50)
Through his house, right? Maybe he thinks he's a pirate?

**Philip** (1:54)
Yeah, he's.

**Mommy** (1:55)
Something. Then on the way to the bus stop, I was attacked by evil ninjas.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:02)
Like a ton of them.

**Lisa Bueno** (2:04)
Who look like they're kind of floating through the air, right?

**Mommy** (2:08)
After vanquishing them, a sea of scary majorettes got in the way. Do you know what a majorette is?

**Lisa Bueno** (2:16)
Have you ever been to a parade and seen a girl wearing a cap who walks in front of the marching band?

**Philip** (2:27)
Sometimes they have flags.

**SPEAKER_4** (2:29)
Sometimes they have flags.

**Philip** (2:30)
And sometimes they're spinning batons.

**Lisa Bueno** (2:32)
Yeah, they spin batons. Mm-hmm.

**Philip** (2:35)
I got it.

**Mommy** (2:36)
Yeah. And then out of nowhere, a massive ape appeared and mistook the school bus for a banana.

**Lisa Bueno** (2:46)
It looks like King Kong.

**Mommy** (2:49)
So I hopped on my skateboard and then I was seized by some mysterious mole people.

**SPEAKER_6** (2:56)
So is that why you're late?

**Lisa Bueno** (3:01)
His teacher asks.

**Mommy** (3:03)
No. I easily escaped. It's just that right after, I suddenly shrank.
And then I became gigantic. And so I decided to take three colossal steps to school. But on the second step, I returned to my regular size and then fell into a pond where I had to fight off a strange blob. And once I got the blob off my back, an elephant grabbed me by its trunk.
What? And since the elephant parade was headed right, headed in the right direction, I still could have made it to school on time. It's just that there was an unfortunate incident with a mouse.

**Lisa Bueno** (3:50)
Because, what are elephants afraid of?

**Philip** (3:54)
Mouse.

**Mommy** (3:55)
Isn't that funny?

**Philip** (3:56)
Yeah, it is.

**SPEAKER_3** (3:57)
Because they're so huge.

**Mommy** (4:00)
And then I ran into a little girl who asked me to help her find her grandmother's house.

**Lisa Bueno** (4:06)
And the little girl looks like...

**Philip** (4:08)
Little red, red, red, red.

**Lisa Bueno** (4:10)
Yeah, she's got a red cloak on.

**Mommy** (4:14)
Since I never had any breakfast, we stopped for a quick bite along the way and...

**Philip** (4:20)
They're eating a different bread house.

**Lisa Bueno** (4:22)
Yeah, like the witch from Hansel and Gretel's house?

**Philip** (4:25)
Yeah, but there's a wolf in the back of those pictures, and it has a really long snout, and it's kind of creepy.

**Lisa Bueno** (4:33)
Yeah, I think it's the big bad wolf that was following...

**Philip** (4:36)
And its snout kind of has like... It kind of looks like a beak like the plague doctors have.

**SPEAKER_3** (4:42)
Yeah, it's a really interesting art piece, isn't it?

**Lisa Bueno** (4:45)
Well, the big bad wolf from Little Bread Riding Hood is now eating the witch from Hansel and Gretel, so that's taken care of.

**SPEAKER_4** (4:52)
So is that why you're late?

**Lisa Bueno** (4:56)
asks the teacher.

**Mommy** (4:58)
No, by then I wasn't far from school at all, but I couldn't help following a boy going in the opposite direction. He was playing a magic pipe.