410:  Reviews of Bookstores with Lauren Kilby and Karen Whitehouse

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could.

Xandy Schiefer (0:36)

Hello and welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. This is a podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I am your brother host. My name is Xandy.

Christine Schiefer (0:45)

Hi, I'm your sister host. My name is Christine.

Xandy Schiefer (0:48)

And welcome to our new studio.

Christine Schiefer (0:49)

Oh, right.

Xandy Schiefer (0:50)

This is the first time we're recording in a new studio.

Christine Schiefer (0:52)

Yeah, hopefully it works and you can see it and hear it.

Xandy Schiefer (0:55)

We don't know yet. We'll see. Yeah, they might not even see this. Who knows?

Christine Schiefer (0:59)

Nobody will see it.

Xandy Schiefer (1:00)

Just lose this episode forever.

Christine Schiefer (1:01)

We have an important announcement.

Xandy Schiefer (1:02)

We do. We have live shows coming up.

We have a show October 8th in Cleveland, Ohio, our least favorite place in the world. October 9th in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, our second least favorite place in the world. And then October 25th, we're in Louisville. And then we are moving our Nashville show, which was October 24th to December 7th.

Christine Schiefer (1:28)

Oops.

Xandy Schiefer (1:30)

So go get your tickets for those, please. They're coming up. We can't wait to see you. We love going to these places because we just read reviews of your city and it's lots of fun and we have a good time.

Christine Schiefer (1:40)

Yes. Go to beachtoosandy.com for tickets, more exciting information.

SPEAKER_1 (1:44)

Yes.

Christine Schiefer (1:44)

Let's get to the real deal here. We have some very exciting guests who were dragged into our new studio space unwittingly. We have the folks from Who Shat on the Floor at, wait, say the whole name of it because I'm going to screw it up.

Karen Whitehouse (1:57)

Who Shat on the Floor at my Wedding?

SPEAKER_1 (1:58)

At my Wedding.

Karen Whitehouse (1:59)

Okay.

Christine Schiefer (1:59)

For some reason, I was about to say my cousin's wedding and then I was like, that's not right. So happy to have you folks here. We're so excited to butcher the name of your podcast in the first 10 minutes. But welcome.

Lauren Kilby (2:10)

But Karen butchered it as well, because it's actually got an additional three words after that.

Karen Whitehouse (2:14)

Yeah, I just said it quietly.

Lauren Kilby (2:15)

Who Shat on the Floor at my Wedding and Other Crimes.

Christine Schiefer (2:18)

I knew there was more. I was like, I trailed off and I was like, oh, I've lost the plot. But yeah, okay, there is more.

Xandy Schiefer (2:23)

It's a little less embarrassing for you.

Christine Schiefer (2:25)

It's so much less embarrassing. It's not really.

Yeah. Anyway, but we're so excited. I remember hearing about your show for the first time a long time ago and going, now that's something. Now that's art is what I said. It's good stuff. And we're just so honored that you wanted to come here and kind of just not even knowing what we're going to do today. So thank you.

Karen Whitehouse (2:45)

Good luck. Thank you for having us.

Christine Schiefer (2:47)

They're like, wait, we actually, what did we sign up for?

Xandy Schiefer (2:50)

Well, today we are reading reviews of bookstores.

Karen Whitehouse (2:56)

Why? Why?

Christine Schiefer (2:57)

Nobody knows.

Xandy Schiefer (2:58)

We had no reason for this, but something told us this would be a good idea.

Karen Whitehouse (3:03)

Yeah. I don't know why.

Christine Schiefer (3:04)

We're very like intuitive, psychic, you know, all that stuff. It was channeled, probably.

Xandy Schiefer (3:10)

Now is when you tell us your deep connection with bookstores that make our psychic readings accurate.

Christine Schiefer (3:16)

Right. Did you ever shit on the floor of a bookstore or your cousin's bookstore? I don't know.

Xandy Schiefer (3:20)

There's a lot of pooping at bookstores.

Karen Whitehouse (3:22)

There is.

Christine Schiefer (3:22)

That's the whole thing.

Karen Whitehouse (3:23)

We actually haven't had a library or book related shit. Yeah, have we, Lauren?

Xandy Schiefer (3:29)

We haven't had a case.

Lauren Kilby (3:29)

No one's shit on the floor of a library yet, but that is a great place to commit a fecal crime. It is.

Xandy Schiefer (3:37)

I would say so.

Lauren Kilby (3:37)

Maybe this will inspire a poopitrator to go into a bookstore and commit a fecal crime there. And then we can investigate it. And then that will be how it all ties back to this episode that we're currently reporting.