#3555 RHOC S20E12: I Will Lei Me Down

Ronnie Karam (0:21)

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for old crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Broths.

It's me, Ronnie. Hello. Ben is away. This is his last day of vacation, so enjoy it, sucker. He'll be back on Monday, so you'll get to hear his sweet little handsome voice over there then, so just stay tuned, okay? Today it's me because I was supposed to have a substitute co-host, and they crapped out on me, okay? They were like, sorry.

Can't do it.

You're not cool enough, Ronnie.

No one wants to be seen with you. And to that I say, I love you anyway, Lisa Vanderpump. Just kidding, it wasn't her. But anyway, couldn't make it, and I know this was an extremely exciting episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, and you guys were going to be like, oh my god, who am I going to talk about Shannon's lay party with? So I just had to get here. I do it for you, I do it for the people. As usual, if you want this recap on video or you want bonus episodes, you want ad-free listening, anything like that, go over to patreon.com. This week's bonus episode was a discussion with Hannah Feria from Below Deck Med and now her new podcast OverShare, which comes out Monday. So go check that out wherever you find podcasts. Also, come watch us, Watch What Crappens. We're going to be live. We're going on tour. We start October 3rd. That is next week, next week. We're going to be in Kansas City and then we're going to be in Chicago, October 3rd and 4th. Then after that, we're in Minneapolis, Detroit, Philadelphia, Washington, Dallas, Austin, Houston, Nashville, Clearwater, Fort Lauderdale, San Francisco, Salt Lake City, Denver, Charleston, Atlanta, Seattle, Vancouver, Portland, Toronto, Boston. And then we're going to end with the Golden Crappies in New York City on February 25th. So go get your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. And we hope to see you there. And I love seeing you right here. I'm looking right inside your ear canal right now. Hmm. What about that? You could use a wax. Not going to lie. A little hairy in here, but it's so warm and feels like a nice hug. So let's do this together, guys. Welcome to Real Housewives of Orange County Season 2, Episode 12, Lay It On Me.

SPEAKER_4 (2:48)

But it's spelled L-E-I, like a lay. Like you'd get in Hawaii, not lay on me. I don't mean it like that.

Ronnie Karam (2:56)

I'm not a loose woman.

So we open up with Heather.

She, I don't know if you've heard, but she's got a new penthouse. It's under our apartment. So she is talking about it a lot. And now we get to see her designing it. And she goes into this huge warehouse where like on the ground, they're projecting the floor plan of the apartment. So she can actually walk through the floor plan of the apartment. It's huge. She's there with her son, Ace, who for some reason she keeps calling Drake, which I think is unfair personally, you know? Let the man live his own life. Oh, Drake, you're gonna love your new bedroom. It's got a drum set, a saxophone area, a microphone so you can sing your little ditties.

My name is Ace. We're so proud of you, Drake. Oh, America, I know that you don't understand this. A projected thing on the floor, a celebrity is a son. Let's walk through my new mansion in the sky. I love putting ridiculous things in my homes. There's a large metal container that holds cool things. It's called a refrigerator. Apparently, it's where you keep all the nutrients, like pickles.

SPEAKER_4 (4:16)

I love pickles.

Ronnie Karam (4:19)

You see, when you have children, they need things like food and water. As a mother, it's very important that you provide alfredos to bring them food and water.

And now we've landed on not one, not two, but 18 apartments that we're combining into one. Wheels are spinning. What crazy things can I put in this apartment? A couch, a vestibule, a pool table. How about a pool table that you can swim in like a pool?

But wait, who wants to swim in a table? How about a table pool? Or how about a pool pool table? Where you can go into the pool while you're playing pool. Of course, the balls would sink. I don't know how you'd hit them under the water. Oh, physics. Don't worry, I'm rich enough. Terry, get out the checkbook. We're changing physics.

We are going to have a cool home, like cool parents. What kid wouldn't want to hang out with their parent in a cool crib? Look at little Drake, already filming himself in a music video. I'm on TikTok, Mother.