3 skills every middle school boy needs | Jerome Hunter

**Elise Hu** (0:00)
I've been thinking a lot about what makes a good life, and when I dig into this question, it really comes down to the people around us, neighbors, teammates, the friends and family we share a meal, a game, or a group chat with. It turns out our health and happiness may depend on them so much more than we realize. So for August's TED Talks Daily playlist, we've gathered five of our favorite talks on finding our people, our community, whether it's at a dinner table, in a video game, or in a garden growing in the middle of the city. Happy listening.
You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hume. Educator Jerome Hunter says that to shift the norms of masculinity in a healthy direction, you have to start with boys. The middle school teacher offers a framework for redefining masculinity at an age when it can make a huge difference. This talk is from a 2023 TED Ed salon after a short break.
And now, our TED Talk of the Day.

**Jerome Hunter** (1:15)
Whenever I tell people I work at a middle school, they often lean back and suck their teeth. It's like they're having a visceral reaction to the mere mention of those years. And it makes sense. Middle school is a time like no other. It's when significant biological, neurological, and emotional changes are happening, all at the same time. So how do middle schoolers respond to these changes? Well, some might ignore deodorant, but overuse Axe body spray. You can find them holding up the walls during the school dance. And there's usually a desire to be treated like an adult, but they can't quite let go of their action figures. And like many middle school students, I was earnest, I was goofy, and I was just discovering who I wanted to be. Now, I had no idea that I'd go on to teach middle school. They say the grade levels you teach are most reflective of your personality. So I'm not quite sure what it says about me that I later went on to found a middle school for boys.
But in all seriousness, it didn't take long as a teacher to realize that my male students were acting kind of strange.
I remember, there was this one year we were doing a get-to-know-you activity where students would use old magazines to create collages representing who they were. And many of the collages had all of the things that typical middle schoolers like. The outdoors, sports, the latest fashion, the hottest shoes, you know, all the important stuff. However, there were some that were not exactly what I had in mind. A group of middle school boys created these collages that were comical, if not concerning. It was almost as if they had made templates of who they thought that they should be. Girls in bikinis, fast cars, professional wrestlers, first person shooter video games. You get the idea. One collage actually had to have had at least 25 different images of Kim Kardashian. And this wasn't an isolated incident, whether it was going down a somewhat sketchy YouTube rabbit hole or mindlessly indulging in meme culture, which we know can get really hairy, really fast. I was noticing a pattern with my boys. Instead of chalking it up as mindless activities or typical middle school behavior, I decided to investigate.
I became a mentor for an after school program called My Brother's Keeper. And in this space, we could have more in-depth conversations.
Inspired by the 2016 presidential debates, I asked this group of boys an age-old question. Does absolute power corrupt absolutely?
Students began to discuss amongst themselves. And then I asked, now, what would you do if you had this kind of power? And what if it was unchecked? Students continued talking, and then they shared out. Many of them said that they would use their power for good or even share it. And as I listened, I felt hopeful, realizing that young men could take a different path. And then I brought the group together and I just said, does it have to be this way?
Their collective light bulbs lit up, realizing that they could reject this version of masculinity. And at the same time, I too had an aha moment. It became clear to me that middle school boys are so impressionable and so full of potential. But what if I told you those same middle school boys could lead us to a more just and equitable society by redefining masculinity?
Now, in the days and weeks that followed, I continued to reflect on this idea. What actually is masculinity? If we reject the gender binary and affirm people of all genders, how does masculinity fit into that?