193: P***y Worship, Baby Bisexuals & Why Loving Your G******s Means Better Sex feat. Jordana Ezra

Vee (0:00)

Dismantle this patriarchal way that we have sex where it's over once the dick comes. No, babe, it's never over.

Jordana Ezra (0:07)

And if you want eight-hour sex, just become a lesbian, guys.

Elle (0:10)

Yes! That's all I have to say. It's like, when does sex start and end with lesbian or same sex?

Jordana Ezra (0:16)

Literally never.

Elle (0:23)

I changed the two sentences when I read it to her. I didn't change all the words. Come on.

Jordana Ezra (0:27)

That was so good.

Vee (0:30)

This was approved?

Elle (0:31)

No, no, no. I didn't read. I changed it, but I didn't put all the words.

Jordana Ezra (0:34)

I was like, that sounds great.

Elle (0:37)

Take three.

Jordana Ezra (0:38)

I love this. You guys are funny.

Vee (0:41)

Welcome, everyone, to another episode of Girls Gone Deep. I am Vee.

Elle (0:45)

And I'm Elle.

Vee (0:47)

And today we have Jordana Ezra, aka The Queer Sex Coach on Instagram. She works at the intersections of queerness, gender and intimacy. Her work involves queer affirming and trauma-informed somatic sexology, grounded in nervous system regulation, embodiment, pleasure, consent, and moving people out of performance and disconnection and into sensation and presence. That's a lot of words to say.

She's like an embodied intimacy coach and she teaches a lot of really cool workshops and she has really great retreats. And the reason why I know her is because she has taught at top floor and she just did a partnered massage workshop, which ended in Yoni and Lingam massage, which was wild and I can't wait to talk about it. And we have one coming up that's about self-pleasure and how filling your own cup first, and then filling your own cup first helps you advocate for yourself sexually. Is that a good way to put it?

Jordana Ezra (1:56)

Yes, I love this.

Vee (1:57)

Yeah.

Jordana Ezra (1:58)

The overflow, you know?

Vee (2:00)

Yeah.

Elle (2:01)

Fill your own cup first, baby. I love that.

Vee (2:04)

Welcome, Jordi. So good to see you again.

Jordana Ezra (2:08)

Yeah. Thanks so much for having me here today.

Elle (2:11)

I need to know about this workshop. That's the first thing you started into and I want to know some details. You helped facilitate this experience for other people, right? So tell me about it. So what was the name of the event and what was it about?

Jordana Ezra (2:24)

The name of the event, I actually loved so much. It was called Body Language.

I thought it was just so perfect for exactly what it was. Though I love to do erotic massage. I found in my career as being a somatic sexologist, it's been so beautiful to be able to teach my clients, not physically, I don't really love to cross those boundaries, but I've been loving to teach my clients how to give themselves and their partners erotic massage. And I've had couples come on to Zoom, and I've been just teaching them how to really slow down and how to really touch each other in an intentional way. And I've really found in my own sex work practices, giving these kinds of sequined massages has allowed so many people, I get this quoted to me all the time, I didn't realize I could feel this much pleasure. Is this what it's supposed to feel like? I now realize I'm not broken. And it's just been really, it's such a beautiful experience to be able to slow down. So that's kind of like what I did at this workshop, is I taught two sequences that essentially allowed the body to come to a peak arousal state before, like even their genitals were really touched. And also when genitals were being massaged and were being touched, they were being touched in a different, I think in a different way, to what most people are experiencing, their pussy or their cock touched. And yeah, it was just this beautiful way to lead into slowing down, like being present and taking the focus off orgasm. But yeah, I don't know. I would love to hear your experience, Vee.

That's a little bit about, I guess, the intention of...

Elle (4:26)

Well, it sounds so erotic. It's so erotic.

As the participant, I'm imagining myself there, because I wasn't there. But you are probably step by stepping, how to explain, what to do next, where to touch, and that feels so erotic to have that instruction and just to follow along and say, okay, we're doing this. And just tapping into that. I've been to a similar experience of a Lingam Massage when I was at a couple's event, and it was exactly that. It was so hot and erotic by the end, everybody wanted to fuck, but nobody did. And it was so hot. It was palpable, the sex in the room that everyone was literally oozing. So Vee, you were there, you had a partner, who were you with and how was it?