Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar: The Backfire That Backfired Matter (EP5080)

Adam Graham (0:28)

Welcome to The Great Detectives of Old Time Radio. From Boise, Idaho, this is your host, Adam Graham.

In a moment, we're going to bring you this week's episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar. But first, I want to encourage you, if you're enjoying the podcast, please follow us, using your favorite podcast software. I also want to highlight my Cameo service. Now, as most of you probably know, Tuesday, October 13th, is National Yorkshire Pudding Day. Now, some of you may not have sent appropriate greetings or taken appropriate steps to celebrate this day.

But the good news is you can use the Cameo service at cameo.greatdetectives.net, and I will be more than happy to be a part of the celebration. Of course, there are other holidays as well, or birthdays, or anniversaries, or pep talks. You can check this out over at cameo.greatdetectives.net for National Yorkshire Pudding Day and all of your celebratory needs. But now, from September 6th, 1959, here is The Backfire That Backfired Manor.

SPEAKER_2 (2:04)

Johnny Dollar.

SPEAKER_3 (2:05)

Betty Lewis.

Adam Graham (2:07)

Oh, hi.

SPEAKER_3 (2:09)

Marry me.

SPEAKER_2 (2:11)

Well, what's that?

SPEAKER_3 (2:13)

I said, will you marry me?

SPEAKER_2 (2:14)

Oh, just round up a preacher and I'll meet you at the church.

SPEAKER_3 (2:17)

Serious, Johnny?

With you, Betty, I sometimes wish I could be your wife. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_2 (2:23)

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish I could. I don't know, wait a minute. Catch me still half asleep this way?

Betty, what did I say? You'd do it up at the crack of dawn.

SPEAKER_4 (2:31)

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_3 (2:33)

It's almost eight o'clock.

SPEAKER_2 (2:34)

Exactly what I said, the crack of dawn.

SPEAKER_3 (2:35)

You're just spoiled, Johnny. Well, I don't know whether to forgive you this time or not.

SPEAKER_2 (2:40)

Uh-oh, now what have I done?

SPEAKER_3 (2:41)

My house warming party.

SPEAKER_2 (2:44)

Oh, no.

SPEAKER_3 (2:45)

Oh, yes. It took me three months of hard work to get my new little house fixed up out here. No visitors, no fun, no nothing to work. And then when I do invite you and you accept...

SPEAKER_2 (2:54)

Betty, honest. Listen, that says this is crazy business of mine.

SPEAKER_3 (2:58)

Better be good, Johnny.

SPEAKER_2 (2:59)

Well, I was out in Eugene, Oregon, and there was no way...

SPEAKER_3 (3:01)

Eugene, Oregon?

SPEAKER_2 (3:02)

Yeah, one of those last minute things, insurance investigation, there was no way I could get out of it.

SPEAKER_3 (3:06)

Honest?

SPEAKER_2 (3:07)

Honest. I only got back late last night. But I'll make it up to you. I swear I will. Well... Now, let's see. Today is, um...

What? Betty. Hello, Betty.

SPEAKER_3 (3:17)

What's the matter, Johnny?

SPEAKER_2 (3:19)

You're asking me those gunshots.

SPEAKER_4 (3:21)

And if I suddenly groaned and dropped the telephone, would you come running out here?

SPEAKER_2 (3:24)

Are you kidding? What?

SPEAKER_3 (3:26)

Only, I cannot tell a lie. That was just some hot rod kid with a cut-down convertible.

SPEAKER_2 (3:31)

Oh. Bankfire, huh?

SPEAKER_3 (3:34)

Yes. Every morning at exactly 8 o'clock, you could set your watch by it.

SPEAKER_2 (3:38)

Are you sure that's all it was?

SPEAKER_3 (3:40)

Well, if you don't believe it, why don't you come over here and see for yourself? Tomorrow, maybe?

SPEAKER_2 (3:47)

At 8 o'clock in the morning?

SPEAKER_3 (3:49)

Sure. And, honey, I'll cook you the greatest breakfast you ever had.

SPEAKER_2 (3:53)

Yeah, but...

SPEAKER_3 (3:54)

Maybe even convince you that married life isn't such a bad idea after all.

SPEAKER_2 (3:58)

On the strength of a platter of ham and eggs?

SPEAKER_3 (4:01)

Tomorrow, Johnny.

SPEAKER_2 (4:04)

Hey, look, why don't we go somewhere tonight? I'll take you out to dinner and...

Adam Graham (4:07)

No.

SPEAKER_3 (4:08)

If you're really sorry about missing the party, if you really do want to see me...

SPEAKER_2 (4:12)

Well, sure I do.

SPEAKER_3 (4:13)

All right, then. Tomorrow morning for breakfast.

Adam Graham (4:15)

Betty!

SPEAKER_3 (4:15)

Bye, honey.

SPEAKER_2 (4:18)

So, why not?

CBS Radio brings you Bob Bailey in the exciting adventures of the man with the action-packed expense account, America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator, yours truly, Johnny Dollar.

The Universal Adjustment Bureau, Hartford, Connecticut. Attention, Mr. Pat McCracken. Following as an account of expenses incurred during my investigation of the backfire that backfired matter.

I know, Pat, you haven't assigned me to a case. I also know I hadn't the least idea that having breakfast with my best gal was to be only the beginning of an insurance investigation, that before it was over, I'd be lucky to get out of the whole mess alive. But believe me, that's the way it worked out. So if there's any question about your company paying this expense account, well, just read on. Okay, then, expense account item one the following morning, that is, $4.25 for a tank full of gas for my car. By the unearthly hour of 7:40 AM, I was on my way to far out beyond the edge of town to 11325 East Maple Drive, and the newly acquired domicile of my date for breakfast, Betty Lewis. Now, I'm not used to this early morning stuff, I was kind of surprised to find so much of the world wide awake. It was warm and pleasant, too early for the scorching summer sun. Front lawns of the rather nice homes in this section glistened with dew. The fields and trees were filled with millions of birds, all singing their heads off with squirrels chattering away. Yep, real pleasant, something I'd have to try again sometime. Betty's place, which I hadn't seen before, turned out to be a very cute one story affair, coral roof and shutters to match. It was set comfortably in between a couple of somewhat larger homes. As for Betty, who stood there at the front door waiting for me, well, I don't know how she does it, but that ever loving doll even at this hour looked as smart and attractive as any man could want.