You'll Pay For This | Reading Reddit Stories

**Shayne Topp** (0:00)
This episode of Reddit Stories is sponsored by DoorDash. Got you delivered, DoorDash. Hello, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shayne, and today's theme is payback. That's right, it's all about vengeance. And I'm joined by two guests who are carefully plotting vengeance upon one another.
Ian and Anthony are joining us.

**Ian Hecox** (0:21)
I've been plotting it for years.

**Shayne Topp** (0:22)
Yeah.

**Ian Hecox** (0:23)
Yeah, I got a bucket of rotten fish right above Anthony. I'm gonna yank a-

**Shayne Topp** (0:29)
This whole buying back Smosh and running this company together, it's all just an elaborate plot to get payback on one another.

**Ian Hecox** (0:36)
Is it payback on me for having left for those six years? Are you waiting? What's gonna happen in the six years?

**Shayne Topp** (0:41)
It's something that happened in high school probably. It probably goes way back.

**Ian Hecox** (0:44)
Yeah, there's a bunch of shit there.

**Shayne Topp** (0:46)
I'm sure.

**Ian Hecox** (0:47)
Maybe one day you didn't give me a ride home or something. I had somewhere else to be.

**Shayne Topp** (0:53)
Tough.

**Ian Hecox** (0:54)
I had somewhere else to be. You're really gonna bring that up right now? You're gonna bring your girlfriends that you're gonna make out with.

**Shayne Topp** (0:58)
God.

**Ian Hecox** (1:00)
These women, they just gotta be made out with sometimes.

**Shayne Topp** (1:05)
How do we feel about vengeance? Revenge?

**Ian Hecox** (1:08)
I feel like it's probably not healthy, but I do love a good revenge tale. I love a good revenge tale as long as it doesn't involve me. I don't want to be the one on either end of it. I feel like at one point in my life I thought it would be so satisfying to get revenge on people that wronged me.
But I'm like, how much of my brain power and life am I spending thinking about this? That I'm getting revenge on myself at this point. It's not worth it. I think what is the phrase? It's like living well is the best revenge.

**Shayne Topp** (1:38)
Yeah. Being actually happy and moving on. Yeah.

**Ian Hecox** (1:41)
Yeah.

**Shayne Topp** (1:42)
I get that. It's fun to play out the fantasy of revenge in certain situations. But it's like in LA, the amount of times someone cuts you off on the road and you imagine, how could I get them back? But it's like the safest and best option is for me to forget about this. Yes.

**Ian Hecox** (1:58)
Because most people own guns here. I didn't even go there.

**Shayne Topp** (2:05)
Actually, that is my brain. Whenever people talk about like, if I was on the street and someone bumped into me or said something rude, I would do this, I'd be like, I'm not trying to get killed. No.

**Ian Hecox** (2:14)
I'm trying to get out of there.

**Shayne Topp** (2:15)
Yeah.
I imagine the types of stories we're going to read today are a little bit more about the calculated revenge. Not like intense violence, probably more along the lines of petty, squabbles, whatever.

**Ian Hecox** (2:28)
I'm excited to hear the stories that I'm involved in.

**Shayne Topp** (2:31)
I am very entertained by reading them.

**Ian Hecox** (2:32)
Have you ever taken revenge on anyone, Anthony? Taken revenge.
Like maybe somebody messed up your Taco Bell order or something. No.

**Shayne Topp** (2:46)
Are you alluding to something?

**Ian Hecox** (2:48)
It feels like you're alluding to something. No.
Yeah. You're not talking about the time I spit in your food, right? That's not the time you know about.

**Shayne Topp** (2:55)
Information you just found out about?

**Ian Hecox** (2:57)
The time you just found out about?
I don't know. I mean, I don't think so. Okay. At least nothing substantial enough to have stuck in my memory. I'm sure there are little things like, I don't know.

**Shayne Topp** (3:10)
Well, if it comes back to you at some point in this episode, feel free to bring it up.

**Ian Hecox** (3:14)
Halfway through the episode, I'm like, oh yeah. Oh my God.

**Shayne Topp** (3:17)
I slashed your tires.

**Ian Hecox** (3:18)
Yeah.
Yeah. All my revenge is specifically against you. Yeah.

**Shayne Topp** (3:22)
Well, you brought up fast food and that gets us into our first story.

**Ian Hecox** (3:25)
Wow. Good segue Ian.

**Shayne Topp** (3:28)
This first story comes from Petty Revenge. It was posted a couple of years ago. They write, I got payback on an awful regular at my fast food job.

**Ian Hecox** (3:37)
Okay. Okay.

**Shayne Topp** (3:39)
So I, a 19-year-old girl, quit my crappy job recently at a fast food chain that has a certain arch and remembered this story, which I thought was funny.