You Might Enjoy: The School of Greatness

Lewis Howes (0:01)

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The School of Greatness is presented by ChatGPT. ChatGPT Work, a new way to work in ChatGPT, can help you organize multi-step projects. ChatGPT Work can use your apps, connected tools and files to create things like landing pages, trackers, even web apps. You can also make ChatGPT Work more specialized by installing specific plugins. Put ChatGPT to work on your most ambitious ideas and projects. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting Work Mode, available on Plus and Pro plans. You're outsourcing your emotional well-being and you don't realize you're doing it. That's a quote from our guest today. And I want to ask you a question. How much of your day is spent trying to make someone else happy?

Saying yes when you actually mean no. Changing who you are so they'll like you. Replaying the conversation, reading the comments, wondering if you're enough. If that's you, I want you to hear this. You are not broken, but you may be handing your piece to someone else and asking them to hold it for you.

In this conversation, you're going to learn why people-pleasing is really a form of dysfunctional love. You'll learn how to fill your own inner container so you stop needing others to fill it. You'll get the simple questions that teaches your kids their feelings matter, and you'll see why failing or admitting that you're wrong doesn't make you a bad person. Dr. Patrick Gagne was diagnosed as a sociopath. She went on to earn her doctorate writing her dissertation on sociopathy, and worked as a therapist and a volunteer emergency trauma counselor. She is the author of Sociopath, A Memoir, the story of growing up without the emotions everyone expected her to feel, and learning to live with radical honesty. This is Dr. Patrick Gagne, episode 1995 on The School of Greatness.

I'm fascinated by human dynamics and human behavior. You are an expert in this topic. I like understanding the human mind, human emotions, why people do the things they do.

Patric Gagne (4:45)

I'm just as fascinated. I just come at it from an antisocial perspective, whereas you come at it from a pro-social perspective. Isn't that interesting?

That is something about psychopathy is that it's automatically assumed, oh, psychopaths can't feel. Psychopaths can feel. We feel all of the inherent emotions. Everyone's born with those inherent emotions. You have young kids. You didn't have to teach them to smile. You didn't have to teach them to cry, happiness, sadness, surprise, disgust. Your children are born with these emotions. But it's the social emotions that psychopaths struggle to understand, empathy, compassion, envy, remorse, guilt. Again, these emotions are taught mostly through modeling. So if your daughter hits her sister, you're going to say, hey, we don't want to hit because your sister, it'll make her sad and you don't want your sister to be sad, do you? And your daughter will probably say, no, I don't. And that's how we learn empathy. Well, psychopaths don't learn emotions that way.