Yamaneika Saunders: A Joke About Having Sex Late

Y'all, let me tell y'all something, I got into the fuck business late, okay? I did, I got, this is why I'm out here now, I'm like, fuck it, I don't give a fuck anymore. I grew up in a Christian household, so I didn't have sex until 27 years old. That's the first time I had sex. And let me tell you something, my pussy was so tight. It was like opening up a bag of chips, like it was...
My shit was tight. And I was nervous because my grandmother was in my head with all, you know, don't be having sex. You know, Jesus is watching and he's like, oh, is he here? Right? Cause when you're with a guy, you're like touching the crescent and shit, and then you want to put his fingers in your pussy. And he's like, wait a minute, let's be quiet for a second. I think Jesus might be in here. I had to turn the lights down. I remember.
No, but I fucked for the first time at 27 years old, and I just thought the experience was going to be like magical, you know, like I was like, this guy, he's going to ravish me and he's going to enter me, and I'm just going to become a woman, and you know, he's going to come swoop me up on like a white horse. And I don't know why I thought he was going to swoop me on a white horse, because I'm a big bitch. So if he did, him and the horse was both going to go down. You know, he'd be like, come on, bitch. And the horse would be like.
But I thought he was going to like, turn me into this woman. And I just, and he, you know, he was gonna fuck me, and then I had to sit there. It was such an awkward thing because, you know, this is my first time seeing a live penis. And, you know, I'm sitting there and I'm waiting for the penis, and he's, you know, like, okay, I gotta, you know, pull my pants down. And then he's like, all right, you know, I just, you know, I'm getting ready for you, baby. And he felt so much pressure. And then sometimes as women, when we have to see a penis for the first time on a guy, we go, oh, oh, that's okay. It's, it's all right, sweetie. And the guy's like, oh, I'm so nervous. And, you know, turn the lights down and cut the heat up, you know, because I don't, you know, I just want you to know, I want to present the best to you. And then we sit there as women and we go, that's okay, darling. It's fine. Do whatever you want. But it's like, no, fuck that. Like, nigga, what's going on? You got a dick or not? Like, it's not... Like, women are always like, it's so much pressure for the guy. It's pressure for us, too. No matter what this guy pulls out, your face can't check. You ever seen a guy pull out a dick and it ain't nothing?
I feel like...
The guy for the first time. He didn't have, like, a, you know, straight dick. I was expecting it to just be like, whew, and it was, it was, like, hooked. It was curt, and I was like, well, how the fuck am I gonna fuck him? Do I gotta go around the corner and fuck him? Like...
I mean, you gotta open yourself up and the guy's gotta enter you, and I just thought, like, sparkles were gonna shoot up out of his dick, and I was gonna be different. And, and he fucked me, and it was no sparkle. There was no sparkle, and I was like, fuck, there must be something wrong here. So I just start fucking other guys looking for the sparkle. So I just start fucking the guy looking for the sparkle. No sparkle. Fuck this guy. Looking for the sparkle. No sparkle. Fuck this guy. Looking for the sparkle. No sparkle. I just kept fucking dudes looking for the sparkle. I never found the sparkle, but my pussy was burning. So... Catch Yamaneika Saunders and The Degenerates. Only on Netflix.