Work from the Inside Out | AMA Vol. 21 with Dr. Michael Gervais

Michael Gervais (0:00)

Hey, Dr. Mike here. Before we jump into this week's episode, I'm here with gymnastics icon and five-time Olympic medalist, including the gold medal in the all-around, Nastia Lukin.

And we have a really exciting announcement to make.

Nastia Liukin (0:14)

Yes, we do. As I'm sure you know, the Olympics are right around the corner.

In this year, Mike and I will be hosting a daily series streamed directly from Paris called The Game Inside the Games.

Michael Gervais (0:25)

We are so stoked. In this series, we'll unlock the psychology of pivotal, often unseen, moments during the games that can make or break an athlete's Olympic dream.

Nastia Liukin (0:36)

And we're gonna give you an in-depth view of the Olympic journey, emphasizing the human behind the athlete and what it takes to navigate one of the most pressure-packed, competitive environments in the world.

Michael Gervais (0:48)

It's gonna be epic. To tune into the series and receive updates, make sure you're following Finding Mastery on your favorite podcast player and subscribe to our newsletter at findingmastery.com forward slash newsletter.

Nastia Liukin (1:00)

See you in Paris for The Game Inside The Games. The Game Inside The Games.

Michael Gervais (1:07)

Potential is this idea that there is more inside of me. You can be, from the inside out, just about anything that you want. Pressure does not come from the environment. It's the way that you interpret the environment. When there's a thought that calls you or a thought that knocks on your door, do you have to entertain it?

Welcome back or welcome to another Ask Me Anything on Finding Mastery. I'm your host, Dr. Michael Gervais, by trade and training a high-performance psychologist. And the purpose behind these conversations, behind these AMAs, is to hear from you, to explore the topics and questions that you've been wrestling with on your path to becoming. So we're back once again with our entertaining and insightful co-host, O'Neil Cespedes. And in today's conversation, we explore topics like how to show your kids that were invested in their success without pressuring them, the real meaning of potential and how to nurture it, the dangers of cognitive bias, finding a healthy level of FOPO and avoiding FOPO's dark side, and how to move forward from trauma without looking back.

So much more we talk about as well. As always, we have so much fun with this. You'll hear about my regrettable diet as a college student and O'Neil, what he learned in his disastrous audition for The Lion King. These AMAs are some of my favorite episodes. Your insightful questions allow us to go deeper into the core principles that we talk about here. And wrestling with them, it's a real challenge and we're inspired to keep trying to sort this stuff out in a very tangible way. So keep your questions coming. And with that, let's jump right into Vol. 21 of Finding Masteries, Ask Me Anything.

Great to be here with you.

O'Neil Cespedes (2:59)

As always, it's great to be here with you too, Dr. Mike. I'm trying to get out of the habit of calling you Dr. Mike and just call you Mike.

Michael Gervais (3:05)

Just call me Mike, yeah. All right, good. So let's jump into it. Let's have some fun.

These questions are stacked. I mean, they are like, I'm just in awe. I say this every time. I'm in awe of how complicated the questions are. And maybe it's because I'm giving too complicated of an answer because I really want to give, you know, share the best of my insights here. But like, I am going to work on being a little more precise.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:31)

Really?

Michael Gervais (3:31)

Yeah, I am. That's my intention for today's conversation.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:35)

Okay, so this came from you, not me. So what I'm going to do is your friend.

Michael Gervais (3:40)

You are.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:40)

Is I'll hold you to that. Okay, I'll hold you to that.

Michael Gervais (3:43)

Okay, good. Let's do it. How will I know when you're coaching me?

O'Neil Cespedes (3:47)

Because I'll be like, let's see here. I'll be like, yeah.

Then when I say that, that probably means I don't.

Michael Gervais (3:55)

It was way too long.

O'Neil Cespedes (3:56)

Yeah.

Or I'm confused. I'll be like, yeah. Yeah.

Michael Gervais (3:59)

Okay, got it.

O'Neil Cespedes (4:00)

That's a code. That's a code.

Michael Gervais (4:03)

Thank you.

O'Neil Cespedes (4:03)

Of course, I'm here. Speaking of complicated questions, Scott.

Michael Gervais (4:08)

Scott, let's go, Scott.

O'Neil Cespedes (4:09)

This is from my guy, Scott.

First time caller to the show. I appreciate the show and extremely grateful for the book, which is fantastic, a fantastic read and incredibly helpful. My question is related to the overarching theme of the book, FOPO. Specifically, I'd like to ask Dr. Mike to lean into the often thin line between care of what people think and fear of what people think. My kid is the same age as your son, Dr. Mike. 16 That generation's self-expression is more abundant and accepted. Young people today are more apt to get a tattoo, dye their hair crazy colors, wear pajama pants out in public, etc. They seem to have less fear of what people think of them. In general, I think this is a net positive change in life and society. But I also see a downside to the fearlessness. Recently, prior to a sports competition, my son put on a temporary tattoo and painted his nails black. Shout out to your son. Cool.