Widontcha Ryder

SPEAKER_1 (0:55)

We'll be right back.

This episode is brought to you by O-PIL, the first ever over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the US. O-PIL is a daily birth control pill that's FDA approved, full prescription strength, and estrogen free. Plus, there's no prescription needed. Finally, the days of needing a prescription for birth control are over. Take control of your health and your reproductive journey. Find O-PIL online and at most major retailers.

Johnny Cann (1:55)

Everyone, welcome to That's Spooky. I'm Johnny.

Tyler Hyde (1:57)

And I'm Tyler.

Johnny Cann (1:57)

And this is a weekly podcast that's calling it now for 2027, The Trend Will Be Platform Shoes with Fake Goldfish in Them.

Tyler Hyde (2:07)

I was just gonna finish that sentence. I was thinking as you were talking, are we gonna say shoes with fish in them?

Johnny Cann (2:14)

Really?

Tyler Hyde (2:14)

Uh-huh.

Johnny Cann (2:15)

You were actually thinking that?

Tyler Hyde (2:17)

I was. I'm not even lying. But like, I like the addition of fake goldfish.

Johnny Cann (2:22)

Oh yeah, no, absolutely. I don't fuck with the real fish.

Tyler Hyde (2:25)

Wasn't there a drag queen who walked around with real fish? Who was that?

Johnny Cann (2:29)

Lana Jarray, just before her season of Drag Race. Yeah.

Tyler Hyde (2:33)

What a mess.

Johnny Cann (2:34)

I know. And then certain queens came out and defended them. And yeah, it was indefensible. But yeah, more fake fish in shoes.

Tyler Hyde (2:43)

I love that.

Johnny Cann (2:43)

Yeah, I think I need to get me a pair.

Yeah. Let me know. Do you, dear listeners, have a pair of clear platform shoes with goldfish in them, fake goldfish?

Tyler Hyde (2:53)

Yeah. You can even put goldfish crackers in them and have a little snack.

Johnny Cann (2:56)

Yeah.

Tyler Hyde (2:57)

A little stomp around snack.

Johnny Cann (2:58)

That's actually really fucking funny.

Tyler Hyde (3:00)

A little clack, clack snack.

Johnny Cann (3:01)

Somebody with like a pair of clear hollow pleasers with goldfish crackers filled to the brim inside.

Tyler Hyde (3:08)

Yeah. I mean, the possibilities are truly endless.

Johnny Cann (3:11)

Yeah.

Tyler Hyde (3:11)

Like, what would you do with your pleasers? Like, what would you put inside of them? Put your little tchotchkes in them to show them off? I could.

Johnny Cann (3:18)

My coin collection. If I had a coin collection.

Tyler Hyde (3:22)

Yeah.

Johnny Cann (3:22)

A rock collection. Oh, that's a good way to show off a rock collection.

Tyler Hyde (3:26)

Marbles.

Johnny Cann (3:27)

Oh, fuck yeah. Jar of marbles.

SPEAKER_6 (3:30)

Not anymore.

Tyler Hyde (3:31)

Yeah.

Johnny Cann (3:31)

You know, we were watching The Purge a few nights ago. They had that fishbowl of dominoes in the family's house in the first one.

Tyler Hyde (3:37)

Oh, right.

Johnny Cann (3:38)

Put all your dominoes in there.

SPEAKER_4 (3:40)

Yeah.

Johnny Cann (3:40)

Yeah. Board games.

SPEAKER_4 (3:41)

These pieces.

Tyler Hyde (3:43)

Survival kits.

Johnny Cann (3:44)

Oh my God. If you're playing D&D, put your dice down there.

Tyler Hyde (3:46)

I love that. And like like a dice tower. Oh my God.

Johnny Cann (3:51)

Roll like a little slot in the side of your pleaser where you can drop a D20 and have it come out the other side exactly like a dice tower. I love that.

Tyler Hyde (4:00)

I love that.

Johnny Cann (4:01)

Oh my God.

Tyler Hyde (4:03)

All you patineers get working.

Johnny Cann (4:05)

I was going to say, do we need to 3D print some shoes? Is that what we need to do?

Tyler Hyde (4:10)

We might.

SPEAKER_4 (4:11)

Yeah, I'm not sure.

Tyler Hyde (4:12)

Okay.

Johnny Cann (4:13)

If anything, in our dreams. All right. Well, this is a great start to the show. I love this. God, yeah.

But we're a podcast, not a fashion house.

SPEAKER_4 (4:23)

It's true.

Johnny Cann (4:24)

We need to get official. We need to get our shit together. We have a lot to attend to today.

Tyler Hyde (4:29)

Fashion on the back burner.

Johnny Cann (4:30)

Yeah, I know, right? Even though it just oozes out of every pore from us.

Tyler Hyde (4:35)

Oh, I know, right?

Johnny Cann (4:36)

Yes.

Tyler Hyde (4:36)

Honey, come on.

Johnny Cann (4:37)

Although I will say, you are currently wearing a t-shirt that you cut the sleeves off of.

Tyler Hyde (4:41)

Yeah.

Johnny Cann (4:42)

Not a full skank tank.

SPEAKER_4 (4:43)

No.

Johnny Cann (4:43)

Because the armpits don't have a two-foot diameter to them.

SPEAKER_4 (4:47)

Yeah.

Johnny Cann (4:47)

But I will say, it looks quite good.