Why We Self Sabotage

**Alex Cooper** (0:00)
Hi everyone, welcome back to Call Her Daddy. It is a beautiful Sunday to have a little therapy session, quick life update. I had to go to Europe for a really big work conference, and when I tell you traveling pregnant is getting harder and harder and harder, we have got the compression socks going on, very sexy. I brought my own pillow to help with the back support on the airplane. I'm having to get up and stretch my hips and my joints throughout the flight. My bladder, girl, my bladder. I have to go to the bathroom every single five seconds, not that my bladder isn't already compressed, but my child's head. Every time I go to the doctor, my doctor is like, oh, the head is right on your bladder right now. So I'm like, oh, perfect. That's why I can't sleep, and I have to go to the bathroom every five seconds. Lovely. And then you guys, when I got to the conference in Europe, every single person that I came in contact with was like, why are you here? Everyone was like, you need to go lay down, which I do love. I was like loving the support and just everyone being so nice to me. I was like, oh my God, thank you. But I was like, I gotta work. I gotta work, babe, okay? What I will say is something that I kind of never have done in my life is listen to my body and slow down when I know my body is telling me it needs it. Having been an athlete playing a division one sport, like I would literally have blood seeping out of my white cleats from my blisters that were like five inches deep and my coach would just say like, no, keep running. And you would keep running. So I feel like in a way I have trained myself to ignore my body to a capacity and just kind of like push through pain and push through discomfort. And I will say that pregnancy has really changed that for me. And I am extremely grateful for that, honestly. I think pregnancy is making me in a way, take care of myself in a way that I never have, which obviously I should be doing. I'm literally growing a human being. But back in the day, I just never would have, I don't know, like I never would have slowed down or pushed a meeting or rescheduled something because my body was telling me that's what it needed. And now that is literally at the forefront of my brain these days. So as busy as I am, I have been really cognizant of taking care of myself, which we love. And it is making me realize that that should not just pertain to when you are pregnant. Okay, what a concept.
Which kind of, I feel like is a nice little segue into the topic that I want to address today, which is the toxic relationship that you literally cannot block on Instagram. You can try to ignore, but it only works for so long. I want to talk about the relationship you have with yourself. Everyone's like, I'm turning this off. This is too deep for a Sunday.
So many of you guys wrote in and asked me to talk about this topic today, actually. So this is actually on you guys. This has nothing to do with me. I asked you topically what you would want me to discuss. And this is one of those topics that everyone, every other DM was like hit this topic. And so I ended up having a lot of really long, interesting conversations with my friends about it. I had multiple coffee dates, dinners, and I feel prepared to tackle this one. So I want to start by all of us being really honest with ourselves today. Okay, this is a safe space. No one's judging us. To the single or non-single girlies, I want you to think if you have ever finally met a stable, amazing person who actually texts you back and your immediate response is, Whoa, okay, this is like kind of boring. I kind of missed the chase. And then you ghost that person for a toxic narcissist, whether that be your ex or just like a new piece of shit you met.
You've done that, right? I've done that. Another one, have you ever gotten a massive career opportunity only to procrastinate until the absolute last second, hand in mediocre work and be like, See, I knew I couldn't do it. Like I knew it wasn't for me.
I'm going to hit you with the hard truth, Daddy Gang. That is not called bad luck. That is called self-sabotage. And today we are going to be talking about self-sabotage because you all wanted me to talk about it. And I basically want to expose the psychological war we wage on ourselves when it comes to this issue. And then obviously we're not going to just say what it is. We're going to actually try to figure out how we get out of our own way and solve this extremely large problem. Okay, self-sabotage. What a good Sunday episode. We're all waking up with the scaries being like, I did that last night. Let's get into it. So when I was talking about this with my friends, something I realized that was quite sobering in my opinion is that the sneakiest thing about self-sabotage is it doesn't really feel like you're ruining your life at the moment. It actually feels like you're protecting yourself, right? It almost feels like a defense mechanism disguised as intuition. So my friends and I were talking about some examples of self-sabotaging. What is the Ruining Your Own Life playbook look like? What does that look like? I think a classic example that really embodies this that comes to mind is picking a fight. The picking a fight ritual.