Why Time Speeds Up as You Get Older (And How to Slow It Down)

**Chip Conley** (0:00)
It's given me a holy urgency. You know, when you have a sense that you have less time ahead of you than you thought you did, you focus on the moment. I used to move with ambition. Now I move with purposeful haste, not rushing past life, but into it.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:16)
This is The Midlife Chrysalis. Welcome to Wisdom Wednesdays with Chip Conley and Derek Gehl, your weekly conversation about thriving in midlife. Together, we explore the questions, insights and practices that help you live this chapter with more purpose, vitality and joy.

**Derek Gehl** (0:34)
Welcome to Wisdom Wednesday here at The Midlife Chrysalis podcast. My name is Derek Gehl, the CEO here at MEA and I'm with our founder, Mr. Chip Conley. Chip, how are you?

**Chip Conley** (0:42)
I'm great. How are you doing, Derek?

**Derek Gehl** (0:44)
Good. Do you know this is our 30th Wisdom Wednesday.

**Chip Conley** (0:47)
Oh my gosh.

**Derek Gehl** (0:49)
I was about to say, God, time flies and I think that's really relevant to what we're going to talk about today.

**Chip Conley** (0:56)
Yeah, no, it is. It's about the one-year anniversary of the whole Midlife Chrysalis podcast. So congratulations to us. We've had, I don't know, maybe 120 or so episodes in a year.

**Derek Gehl** (1:11)
Yeah, millions of downloads and exceeded expectations. I've launched podcasts before and it takes a while to get them going. And it's funny, I mean, we hear about these big podcasts and the rich roles and stuff like that.
And everyone's like, wow, they're so massive. But what people don't see behind the scenes is the years they spent growing those.

**Chip Conley** (1:32)
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I really appreciate it. I just want to say thank you to those of you listening or watching. You have a very busy life and there are a lot of podcasts out there. So I just appreciate the loyalty and we will do our best to not just entertain you, but educate you and hopefully inspire you as well.

**Derek Gehl** (1:51)
Yeah. Love that. So this week, I want to talk about time and it's like a universal truth. The older we get, the faster time goes or the perception of time goes. Obviously, time's not going faster, but we see it all the time. We hear it from people.
Every day, I'm like, oh my God, how did it become May 15th? It feels like the year just started and we're heading halfway through the year.
I noticed it particularly when I had kids.
Things just started growing growing. In September, my youngest, who I swear to God, he was just a little kid, is heading off to UBC. He's going to university and we're finishing that stage of life. What the heck is happening, Chip? Why?

**Chip Conley** (2:35)
Well, there's a lot to unpack here. Again, I go to social science first. When it comes to social science, a couple of things that are clear is that when you're a kid, and you have the endless summer, part of the reason it feels endless is because our brain prolongs time when we're doing new things. It feels long. This is why when someone comes to an MEA workshop and you're two days into the workshop, you're 48 hours into it, and you remind them they've only been there two days, 98 percent of them is like, are you kidding me? I feel like these are my best friends. I've gotten to know you so well. I've gotten to know myself so well. But it's because we hit you with a lot of new experiences. And so being a beginner prolongs time. The problem with us in midlife is we are less prone or less likely to actually be a beginner again because we're just on the treadmill of life and we don't have time for curiosity and we have time just to keep up with what we've got on our plate. So one issue for people as we get older is if we are not trying new things, we are actually accelerating time. So one solution for that is become a beginner at something and try a bunch of new things. Secondly, when you're in a flow state, and often when you're in a flow state, it's when you're trying to do something that has a certain amount of challenge and skill. When you're in a flow state, you lose track of time. The process of losing track of time, there's some early evidence that shows that physically, biologically, it's good for your body. When you're in that flow state, whether that is water skiing or painting or playing chess or writing code, that flow state actually slows down time, biologically potentially. That's another thing, is getting into flow and being in a state of flow is very important. Now, there's a bunch of other time elements to consider in social science. Laura, Dr. Laura Karsensson, who's on my podcast soon, is the Director and Founder of the Stanford Center on Longevity. I'm on her board and what she's shown with the socio-emotional selectivity theory is that when we get older, we are better able to determine what we want to focus on and what we don't. Meaning, when you actually see something horrible, you actually can tune it out more easily. It also is another component part of that is, the less time you think you have ahead of you, you focus less on the future, less on the past, and more on the present moment. Focusing on the present moment is a shortcut to feeling happier. That's another data point for people in midlife is focused on the present moment, not just on the past and on the future. There's a lot there. I've just given you three different elements that help a person to realize that it is in midlife where we often are focused on the future or the past, and regretting the past maybe decisions, and we're not actually becoming a beginner again, and we're not in a flow state, and we just are waiting through life, waiting or waiting, doing something slow and deliberate, but all the while, life is rushing by.