Why Is Everyone So Emotionally Detached? - David Brooks - #770

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
Hello everybody, welcome back to the show. My guest today is David Brooks. He's a columnist for The New York Times and an author. We're often told to control our emotions, but is that actually what we want? Or do we want to be confident enough to feel them fully? Instead of becoming too detached, how can we reconnect with our feelings and actually embrace our experience and connections? Expect to learn why men have been conditioned to be so emotionally cut off, why being stoic or aloof is perceived to be attractive, why so many people are repressed, how to accurately see others and make them feel comfortable, how to open up without triggering your fear, how to improve the energy you went to a room with and much more. This book is perfectly written for me at the stage of life that I'm in right now, where I'm trying to integrate emotions, where I'm trying to actually feel feelings, where I'm trying to embrace bits of me that I was worried about before, that I was fearful of before, that I was ashamed about before. And David's arc and his insights here are really cool. If you're someone that's trying to become more emotionally integrated, to understand yourself better, to be able to relate to other people, this is phenomenal and I really hope that you enjoy it. This episode is brought to you by Gymshark. You want to look good and feel good when you're in the gym and Gymshark make the best men's and girls' gym wear on the planet. Their studio shorts for men are the best pair of training shorts I have ever found in my entire life. Their Crest hoodie in light gray mall is what I fly in every single time that I'm on a plane. And their Geo Seamless T-shirt is what I've been training in every single day for over a year now. Basically everything they make is unbelievably well-fitted, high quality and you get 30 days of free returns globally with global shipping plus a 10% discount site-wide. If you want to see everything that I wear and recommend for guys and girls, head to bit.ly slash shark wisdom. That takes you to my super secret product page and you can use the code MW10 at checkout for a 10% discount plus that 30 day free returns. That's bit.ly slash shark wisdom and MW10 at checkout. Honestly, the difference in the quality of your life when you have a world-class backpack is pretty hard to describe. Nomatic make the most functional, durable and innovative backpacks, bags, luggage and accessories that I've ever used. Their 20 litre travel pack and carry on classic are absolute game changers. The amount of thought that they've put into every pouch and zipper is incredible. They're beautifully designed and not over-engineered and will literally last you a lifetime because they've got a lifetime guarantee. So if it breaks at any point, they'll give you a new one. They also offer free shipping on orders over $49 in the contiguous United States. And if you don't love your purchase, you can return or exchange your item 30 days after you've received it for any reason. Nomatic is offering Modern Wisdom listeners 20% off their first purchase when they go to nomatic.com/modernwisdom and using the code MW20 at checkout. That's nomatic.com/modernwisdom and MW20 at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Surfshark VPN. Protect your browsing online and get access to the entire world's Netflix library for less than the price of a cup of coffee per month. If you are using the internet without a VPN, you are basically dancing in a muddy field without any shoes on. It is not good for you. If you use a public wifi network like a library or a cafeteria, the internet admin can see all of the data going back and forth between your computer and the internet. Plus your internet service provider is tracking everything that you look at and then selling your information to companies who will target you with ads on what you browse. Also it means that you can't access the entire world's Netflix library and you can't use services like HBO Max or Amazon Prime when you're abroad. All of this is fixed by Surfshark VPN. It is available across unlimited devices so it protects and gives you access on your laptop, your iPad, your phone and even your smart TV. Plus there is a 30-day money back guarantee and an 83% discount with 3 months free. All of that is available if you go to surfshark.deals.com/modernwisdom. That's surfshark.deals.com/modernwisdom. But now ladies and gentlemen, please welcome David Brooks.
There's a lot of people in the world who find something, I think, attractive about being stoic or aloof or rational or cynical. Emotions don't really get much room or honor.