Why Does Modern America Feel So Insane? - Andrew Schulz - #913

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
What a great day for Netflix.

**Andrew Schulz** (0:02)
Yeah.

**Chris Williamson** (0:02)
Meghan Markle's new Lifestyle series drops today.

**Andrew Schulz** (0:05)
There's two lives out there.

**Chris Williamson** (0:07)
Is that it?

**Andrew Schulz** (0:08)
Wait, did she have another show? They're not giving her more shows.

**Chris Williamson** (0:11)
With Love, brand new series.

**Andrew Schulz** (0:12)
No way.

**Chris Williamson** (0:13)
Drops right now.

**Andrew Schulz** (0:14)
She can't miss, bro, you only fail up. You really only fail up. This is crazy. This is crazy. Have we started the pod?

**Chris Williamson** (0:20)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

**Andrew Schulz** (0:21)
Okay, we have? All right, this is fire. I just want to let everybody know that Chris usually spends a lot of money on sets, and I told him, I was like, save it. I said, don't rent out a warehouse or something aesthetically pleasing and have a whole team of cameras. I just have five Serbian guys set these things up here, throw some flesh lights in the back, and we'll be good. And I think we'll get the same thing across, okay? You had a hard day. I shouldn't even bust your balls about this, but-

**Chris Williamson** (0:54)
Oh, we're living. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you versus Meghan Markle today? That's it. She's in Next.

**Andrew Schulz** (0:58)
So, what's her thing? What's her story? What's the-

**Chris Williamson** (1:02)
Well, she's-

**Andrew Schulz** (1:02)
It's a reality show about her?

**Chris Williamson** (1:04)
She's got genitals so potent that America finally managed to take down the United Kingdom, right? Not with war, not with bureaucracy, but with a woman who literally managed to suck the fucking privilege out of Prince Harry using her magical yoni.

**Andrew Schulz** (1:19)
It is interesting that she's so hated, huh? What is that about? A lot of people dislike her.

**Chris Williamson** (1:26)
If you want to search Meghan Markle...

**Andrew Schulz** (1:29)
Because we don't like the royal family really. I think we're kind of ambivalent towards them in America.

**Chris Williamson** (1:34)
Yeah, you guys think it's kind of like a cricket or something.

**Andrew Schulz** (1:36)
Yeah.

**Chris Williamson** (1:37)
It's like a fucking artifact.

**Andrew Schulz** (1:38)
Yeah. Yeah, it's not... I heard you were a bowler.

**Chris Williamson** (1:41)
I was.

**Andrew Schulz** (1:42)
Yeah.

**Chris Williamson** (1:42)
I was.

**Andrew Schulz** (1:42)
For like a pretty good school.

**Chris Williamson** (1:44)
Yeah. Yeah, that was the only way I got into university. They reduced my entry requirements because they thought I was going to come and play sport. But little did they know that they just had a adult infant waiting in the wings who was going to completely...

**Andrew Schulz** (1:56)
So you stopped playing the second you went.

**Chris Williamson** (1:58)
But essentially, I dropped down to just drinking, partying and running events and they did that thing.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:05)
Why are the Indians so good at that? They're not really athletic people.

**Chris Williamson** (2:08)
Well, think about all of the places that are good at cricket.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:10)
Yeah.

**Chris Williamson** (2:10)
Places that we colonized, Australia, India, Pakistan, Canada. Canada pretty good at it as well.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:16)
So do you give them a thing to beat you at for fun? Like is that how you keep them?

**Chris Williamson** (2:21)
Yeah, you can have that. Don't rebel.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:23)
We'll keep the rubies.

**Chris Williamson** (2:23)
Don't rebel again.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:24)
Yeah. You guys play in the field for two days.

**Chris Williamson** (2:28)
I've been looking forward to telling you this because I saw you do your show here in Austin about a year ago, almost exactly a year ago.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:34)
That's right.

**Chris Williamson** (2:34)
And I went and got a sperm count done.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:37)
Did you?

**Chris Williamson** (2:38)
Because of you. Exclusively because of you.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:40)
And how was it?

**Chris Williamson** (2:41)
First one, I got a whole fucking story for you about this.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:43)
Please tell me. I love this. I love your people's journeys. What size shoe are you, bro?

**Chris Williamson** (2:48)
That's a US. 10

**Andrew Schulz** (2:50)
Okay, you double digits. All right. That's a cute size right there.

**Chris Williamson** (2:54)
10? All right.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:55)
You're a big motherfucker to have a size 10

**Chris Williamson** (2:58)
Yeah.

**Andrew Schulz** (2:58)
Well, look. You're a big guy. I don't know if that's a 10, bro.

**Chris Williamson** (3:02)
Oh, no. That's a 9 Actually, I wear a 10, but these are a 9 because...

**Andrew Schulz** (3:06)
I got it. Give me that camera.

**Chris Williamson** (3:07)