What kids wish their parents knew about fun | Mila Rojas

Mila Rojas (0:00)

Sometimes, adults forget how rewarding play is because they are too busy or feel like they have too many responsibilities.

They rush to unpack. They ask us to sit still for pictures. They miss the magic because they're focused on planning instead of play.

Elise Hu (0:19)

You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hu. It's not often we get to share a talk from a fifth grader on this show, and this one is a good reminder of just how much we can learn from the young people around us. A year ago, Mila Rojas spent a hot summer day at a water park with her dad. He was beaming, laughing the whole time. A few days later, when he video called the family from work, he seemed like a different person, tired, less happy.

That contrast stuck with her, and it led her to a conclusion that she thinks, and I agree, a lot of grownups need to hear.

Mila Rojas (0:57)

Play isn't an escape from your life, it's a way into it. Adults often tell kids to go play, but for adults, their own play gets buried under schedules, expectations, and pressure to be serious.

Elise Hu (1:11)

In this talk, Mila makes the case that play isn't just for kids, and that adults are missing out on one of the best ways to connect with their families and enjoy life. Part of the problem, she says, has a name.

Mila Rojas (1:22)

According to the American Journal of Play, adults often have play guilt because their inner voice tells them that play isn't productive and that they should be doing something more beneficial.

Elise Hu (1:33)

Mila shares simple ways families can sneak more play into the everyday. No extra to-do list required. As a mom of three daughters, I loved it, and I have a feeling my girls are going to love it, too. That's coming up right after a short break.

And now, our TED Talk of the Day.

Mila Rojas (2:02)

A year ago, I was at a water park with my dad, and we were waiting in line on a huge green water slide that swirled like soft-serve ice cream. It was a hot summer day and his face was beaming. Even while we were waiting in the long lines, he kept turning everything into a game, like who could slide down the fastest, and we were laughing the whole time. He was relaxed and completely himself in that moment, just like a lot of kids are when they play.

When he FaceTimed us from work later that week, I could sense that his mood was different. He was less happy and more tired, probably like most adults at work. That contrast stuck with me. It made me realize that play isn't just a childish activity, but something adults need to do to connect more deeply to their families and live life more fully. Adults must add more play to their daily lives.

We've all felt that sense of wonder as kids. Finding a new playground, going to Disney, or for Thanksgiving, making the big dinner of pumpkin pie and yellow salad, and decorating the table with a fresh linen tablecloth, fancy plates, and silverware that we don't put out any other time of year.

But sometimes adults forget how rewarding play is because they are too busy or feel like they have too many responsibilities. They rush to unpack. They ask us to sit still for pictures. They miss the magic because they're focused on planning instead of play. I've seen this in my own family. One Christmas morning, I came downstairs filled with excitement. The house smelled like gingerbread cookies and everything felt special. But when I was opening presents, I was told, don't open the next one, call grandma to thank her, and smile for the camera. Wouldn't it be better if parents were fully engaged with their families? Present, curious, and willing to explore without worrying about checking something off a list? What if instead, parents hid all the really special presents in a scavenger hunt?

Parents should enjoy play not because it's productive or efficient, but because it's fun. For kids, this happens naturally. When kids play, they explore without worrying about being right, imagining new games and inventing rules. Play isn't an escape from your life. It's a way into it.

Adults often tell kids to go play, but for adults, their own play gets buried under schedules, expectations, and pressure to be serious. According to the American Journal of Play, adults often have play guilt because their inner voice tells them that play isn't productive, and that they should be doing something more beneficial. As responsibilities grow, play is often viewed as immature, unnecessary, or distraction from getting things done. Over time, that belief becomes automatic. Play starts to feel like a waste even though it's actually one of the most effective ways humans learn, connect, and regulate stress. UNICEF holds an International Day of Play to remind us of the importance of play for all ages. But it doesn't even be so big. Adults don't need to add more things to their to-do list to benefit from play.