What IS a Narcissist? Key Traits & Relationship Patterns | Part 1

Dr. Sarah Hensley (0:00)

People aren't random, they're incredibly predictable. This is a show about the science of human behavior, relationships, emotional healing, and the hidden patterns running our lives that most of us don't even realize exist. Because once you see the pattern, you can finally change it.

I'm Dr. Sarah Hensley.

Raina Butcher (0:20)

And I'm Raina Butcher.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (0:22)

You think your life is random.

Raina Butcher (0:24)

It's not. Welcome to The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show.

Hey, hey, hey, friend. What's up?

Dr. Sarah Hensley (0:32)

Hey.

Well, I mean a lot, you know. Taylor came out with a new couple of songs. And so I'm out of my music funk, and I've been bebopping around feeling really great.

Raina Butcher (0:44)

I bet you have. You actually told me to listen to Patient Zero this morning. And I cried listening to it.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (0:50)

Yeah.

Raina Butcher (0:51)

Well, I'm watching the video. It just really hit deep.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (0:53)

Yes. And that video was premiered at the VMAs.

She directed it. Everybody knows I'm a big Taylor fan, because I love people that are the best at what they do. And she's just the best at what she does in terms of songwriting and lyricism. And Patient Zero is about a relationship with a narcissist and sort of about how you might move on from the narcissist. And then you're seeing their new relationship and you're like, Oh, yeah, girl.

Raina Butcher (1:18)

Oh, girl. Yeah.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (1:19)

Yeah. You just wait.

Raina Butcher (1:20)

Yeah.

I'm here though, if you need me. I'm just waiting on your call.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (1:24)

Yeah.

Raina Butcher (1:25)

Yeah. It hit deep, especially watching the video. So go watch the video, guys, because you'll be like, Oh, wow.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (1:33)

If you've been through production quality, even if you don't like her, the production quality in the video starts Colin Farrell and Dakota Johnson. And they do an amazing job in the video.

Raina Butcher (1:42)

Taylor looks good.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (1:43)

Gosh, she looks good.

Raina Butcher (1:46)

She's a little thicker, but it looks really good on her.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (1:49)

And then, but when I saw her at the VMAs, I'm like, Ooh, she lost weight since then.

Raina Butcher (1:52)

Oh, really?

Dr. Sarah Hensley (1:53)

Yeah, for sure.

Raina Butcher (1:54)

Yeah, I like the thickness.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (1:55)

She looks a lot, yeah.

Raina Butcher (1:56)

Well, she just looks like a real woman. Like, she's curvy and it looks good. I bet old boy is like, Yeah, that's what I like.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (2:06)

Yeah, Travis Kelsey seems like a guy that would like some curves.

Raina Butcher (2:09)

For sure. He's just because he's just a good old boy. Yeah, like good old boys like curves. Yeah, I like their meat and potatoes kind of girls. Yeah, you know, so well, speaking of narcissist, we're going to go deep into the narcissist psyche today.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (2:24)

Yes, and we've done episodes around narcissism before, but I think it's good to always come around because our audience shifts and changes and some people that listen to us before may not be listening to us now. And we have new people that come and listen to us. So I think it's worth revisiting this topic because it is literally the most common question that I get. How do I know if my partner is a narcissist?

And the answer is not what people always like to hear, which is I can't tell you that. What I can tell you to do is go look up the DSM criteria and see if any of those things fit because I am not a clinician and I never pretend to be one. I am a researcher. So when I study narcissism and have studied narcissism for a long time, I'm looking at the science behind narcissism and what we really have studied, what we have evidence for. And then the DSM uses that research to continue to refine their criteria. And they have refined their criteria. There's actually brand new diagnostic criteria in the DSM, which is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Health Disorders that clinicians use to make diagnoses. So in 2026, this year, they came out with quite a bit of new criteria. So I find that fascinating. And I find it fascinating that there are so many theories of what narcissism is, how it functions.

Raina Butcher (3:54)

I know your theory.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (3:56)

Yeah.

Raina Butcher (3:57)

And I feel like it's so spot on.

Dr. Sarah Hensley (3:59)