What Happened!?

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

Hey, everyone, and welcome to season 24 of The Mysteries Of Derlin County. We officially made it. I wanted to give a warning before the season starts. As I mentioned in a video, I think, or maybe it was the trailer. Yeah, it was the trailer that I put out. This season has been rife with ups and downs in the creation of it. It is still a work in progress, so I'm not sure how the release schedule is going to look. But this season, we set out to be different, and I think that we are accomplishing that. But it does feature a litany of topics and content that some may find triggering. So listener discretion is strongly advised. And here we go. Season 24, Mysteries Of Derlin County.

Too tight, too.

The hell am I? Oh.

SPEAKER_2 (1:06)

Hey.

SPEAKER_1 (1:08)

What the hell is going on here?

What is this? Well, where are my friends at?

SPEAKER_2 (1:18)

Hold on. You got bigger fish to fry at your friend than worrying about where your friends are at, okay?

SPEAKER_1 (1:22)

Where are they? Are they okay, at least? Your friends are here. They're fine, okay? All right.

SPEAKER_2 (1:27)

Look, you're in some deep shit, buddy.

SPEAKER_1 (1:29)

I'm in deep shit? What the fuck are you talking about? What I'm talking about is we receive a phone call from a concerned citizen.

SPEAKER_2 (1:37)

Yeah?

SPEAKER_1 (1:37)

Claiming that there's screams and lights flashing and all other kinds of shit at this fucking camp.

SPEAKER_2 (1:44)

Yes, I know. And when we go to investigate, we find 14 dead bodies. And I-

SPEAKER_1 (1:49)

Not a single soul alive except for you and your three fucking friends. Yeah, and I told you that wasn't us. And you don't understand what's bad about that? I do understand what's bad about that, but I told you guys when you showed up there that it wasn't us. Oh, yeah. The guy in the book did it.

SPEAKER_2 (2:04)

I get it.

SPEAKER_1 (2:05)

I get it, okay? But you gotta understand from my perspective, that looks like crazy bullshit.

SPEAKER_2 (2:10)

No. We show up there, there's fourteen dead fucking bodies. I know.

SPEAKER_1 (2:13)

And I got four fucking idiots that somehow survived. And when we asked you how you survived it all, you said you stuck together and you ran. Exactly. Really? Yes, exactly. That's what happened. Really?

SPEAKER_2 (2:23)

Yes, that's exactly what happened. Bullshit.

SPEAKER_1 (2:26)

I know it sounds a little bizarre and-

SPEAKER_2 (2:28)

A little?

SPEAKER_1 (2:29)

We have a history of this kind of stuff. Wait, you have a history of it?

Yeah. You know what? I'm so confused already. Okay? All right. Why don't you take me back to the beginning? Walk me through the whole thing.

SPEAKER_2 (2:41)

Like the very beginning?

SPEAKER_1 (2:43)

Yes, the very beginning.

SPEAKER_2 (2:45)

Okay.

SPEAKER_1 (2:45)

Well, all right. Let me think here.

SPEAKER_2 (2:49)

Okay.

SPEAKER_1 (2:51)

It was late June, early July, 1986 What?

SPEAKER_2 (2:58)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_1 (2:59)

And my mom and my dad and my older brother, I mean, he was probably in bed. I'm hoping it was in bed.

SPEAKER_2 (3:06)

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_1 (3:07)

And my mom was feeling sexy, I guess.

SPEAKER_2 (3:10)

I don't know. What?

SPEAKER_1 (3:11)

And my dad was trying to get his.

Get his what? Get his nut. And so they decided to make love and conceive a second child. No, I'm not talking about the very beginning of your life. I'm talking about the very beginning of this camping trip.

SPEAKER_2 (3:23)

Breaking news out of Derlin County today is a local team-building retreat has descended into utter chaos, leaving 14 community members dead. I bet you Brandon's involved in this shit. You know what? I know he is.

SPEAKER_1 (4:29)

How stupid can you be? You said the very beginning. You're talking about your parents having sex to concede. Oh my God. I don't know. No, I'm talking about the team building weekend. You dumb asshole. I get that. Hey. When the people died, okay, tell me what happened. Oh my God. Okay, geez. Angry much?

What?

What? Tell your fucking story before I beat your ass.

SPEAKER_3 (4:56)

Okay, geez. Okay.

SPEAKER_2 (4:58)

All right.

SPEAKER_1 (4:59)

Because I'm over this already.

SPEAKER_2 (5:01)

All right.

SPEAKER_1 (5:01)

You're already on thin ice.

SPEAKER_2 (5:03)

Okay.

SPEAKER_1 (5:03)

Can I get the- I got 14 bodies that I can easily pin on you.

SPEAKER_2 (5:06)

I get it. Okay.

SPEAKER_1 (5:07)

So you better get talking.

SPEAKER_2 (5:08)

Okay.

SPEAKER_1 (5:08)

Can I please get the cuffs off? They're really cutting into my wrist. Absolutely not. Maybe when you tell me your story. All right. How do I start?