What Are Non-Negotiables To Consider In a Relationship

Matthew Gottesman (0:02)

Welcome to The Niche Is You. My name is Matt Gottesman, at Matt Gottesman on Instagram, and this is my daily podcast where I create short, quick hitting episodes to help you uncomplicate life, creativity, and the pursuit of your highest self. There's only main character energy here. Now, let's get into it.

Welcome to episode 881 and a relaunch of what are non-negotiables to consider in a relationship? What are non-negotiables to consider in a relationship? Now, this is about values and showing up and consistency. You know, I can't tell you what your non-negotiables are, but the goal of this episode that I had done was not so much about the external, of course. It's about how the character and the fruit of the individual and what that really means in the relationship, as well as how you're behaving as well, right? So enjoy this episode, 881, What Are Non-negotiables To Consider In A Relationship?

Welcome to episode 611, What Are Non-negotiables To Consider In A Relationship? What are non-negotiables to consider in a relationship? You're going to find that this is very much about you, and not necessarily exerting and expecting other people like, you will behave like this. And therefore, it's like, you'll come to find that the non-negotiables are the things that you already behave like or are working to behave like. I was asked this question again on my Instagram stories or the Q&A that I had done, and I want to kind of keep some of those questions going because there were such great questions in there about relationships and God and business and all the things. And so somebody asked, what do you think should be non-negotiables in a relationship? And I gave an answer, which I'm going to read to you, and then we're going to deep dab into this further. But non-negotiables are so important because it's not just what we want to receive. It's how we behave. And how we behave is what creates what we receive. And somebody will be like, well, I behave that way, and I didn't get that back. Yes, that happens too. And when you behave that way and you don't get that back, you keep moving till you're met with your match. And then when you're matched, the real game begins.

And at that point, then it's about how do you guys keep loving and supporting and growing from there because you're both operating at that level, right? And I know sometimes in a relationship, you can see the potential of somebody and you can probably also see their heart. I truly believe that we can see them at the soul level, which is why I think we connect with some people and we hope that they're going to be a certain way and they're not. And you can see like, oh, well, I know that you're going to continue to work on that. And it's like, well, here's the deal. Let's make it even simpler. And then I'm going to dive into what I had said on the post.

If you were in a sport, again, you guys always know I use sports. It's just such an easy analogy. And you saw someone was like, yeah, they got talent. And you can see they're going to be good in a few years. But you're like, oh, but like you've got the championship game coming up. You're probably going to choose a seasoned player. They don't, it doesn't matter the age. I'm just saying that it's a seasoned player. They could be, you know, Kobe was seasoned at like, you know, his sophomore year in the league, you know, pretty much, you know, but he was disciplined. He was a match. He was playing at that level. Right? So that's, think about it like that. And I say that because it could be easy to see somebody is like, maybe not there yet, but it's much different than when you're playing with your match. So what I had said on this, as this answer, and I said this on my story, I said, here's a good start to some non-negotiables in a relationship, honesty, communication, being direct, being wholly yourself, W-H-O-L-L-Y, wholly, all, whole of yourself, right? Shared values and a shared vision, knowing if you're truly long-term partners and if not, honoring each other enough to not waste time, respect, genuine interest in each other, intentionality, vulnerability, taking care of each other's well-being without losing yourself, and constant growth, working on the best version of yourself so you're contributing to each other's lives, not distracting from them, supporting each other's God-given assignments and pushing one another toward what you're here to do. I'd also add right there that your God-given assignments, the thing is, true partnership, is also co-assignment. So you need that individual to be really on their assignment, which is actually maybe co-missioned with you, right? And I said, for me, it all comes back to reverence. Don't be in a relationship if you're not devoted. You're either playing for the championship together or you're not. And if you are, then your job is to guard each other's soul and help each other get where you're meant to go.